You know something, I think this guy is serious.

Mel Gibson of course. Everyone who knows anything knows that. Gah!



Why, thank you. It's not often I get a compliment in here. Obviously close contact with excessive amounts of silver has not completely contaminated your brain, but in time it will. I strongly suggest you stop wearing your silver foil hat and quit reading the book of Revelation before it is too late.



It has worked so far. Did you know that there is a huge root cellar in Windsor, Vermont which currently houses over 800 people just like you? They were once regulars here, but after the alien forces defeated them in 2004, they were sent to Windsor for eternal orientation and rehabilitation.

Freedom is a special thing. Don't monkey around and lose it. My alien friends and I can be trusted, but we are not always as forgiving as some of you humans are. I see you enjoy using the word "pathetic"....We aliens prefer words like electro-convulsive shock and mind-altering implants. Btw, would you like a free sample pack of of MK-Ultra cigarettes?

I'm sorry, did I hear arrogance again? Yes, indeed, I did. Not as forgiving, eh? Is that supposed to scare me or something? Have you ever asked yourself what the point is in exploiting an abusing other beings? Doesn't it get old after awhile? I mean really... give it up already. There's no where for you to hide anymore. Facades are meaningless. Is there even a consciousness inside that skill of yours, or am I really talking to a robot here?

That is a very good question, Mr. Anonymous, one which I have asked myself over and over again for what must be a half a lifetime already. Does anyone in here ever really listen to what I am saying? I seriously doubt it. I have searched for meaning in every nook and cranny of this this fleeting web of space in time, and thus far I am only aware of a handful of times when any vague semblance of meaningful meaning was found. I wanted so much to find just one other human being who cared as I do, but alas that has not been the case. Are you that person? I wonder. Only fickle time and even fickler circumstance will tell. Sigh....

I suppose you have heard of the infamous CoEA (Church of Enlightened Assumption) by now. I once belonged to that esteemed institution, but that was then and this is now. I made the mistake of assuming too much from those around me. I trusted others where no trust was to be found in return. There was a time when I thought MoonWingDove was a very very very special person, but that was before she basically abandoned those of us who had sought refuge under the protective wings of the CoEA bird of tranquility...metaphorically speaking of course.

Now we all are like a flock of lost birds which have been disoriented at sea by a massive storm...and now we are flying aimlessly over treacherous waters searching for a spot of dry green land to call home. Are you lost as well, Mr. Anonymous. Welcome to the lost flock.

I care. This pseudo-existence must end. It has to.

Pseudo-existences came out of the turn of the century solipsist existentialist philosophy movement and originated in Norway with the advent of the Norse expressionist school of painters led by Edvard Munch who as you know claimed to have painted the famous "Scream" series depicting an expecially troublesome attack of existential angst.

The truth is Munch did NOT paint the scream, but rather it was done by a stray cat who wandered into his Paris studio from off the street. In Munch's own words he described this unusual cat..."It had anxious, questioning eyes-the eyes of a human being-and I was almost afraid of its gaze."

The cat soon took control of Munch's studio, sharpening its claws on his easels and deficating in his paint box. Munch was helpless against the cunning beast and late one night he awakened and found to his horror that the animal had painted over all his paintings with these disturbing scream images. But before the enraged artist could destroy the cat's handiwork (paw-work then) they were discovered by a female artist acquaintence who instantly recognized the genius of the one who had painted them.

Munch, poisoned the offending cat a few hours later, then claimed the work for his own and the rest is history. The animal died a horrible death from arsenic-laced warm milk and was buried in a shallow grave in Munch's flower garden under some purple pansies. Later it was discovered that the cat had once belonged to Munch's sister, Laura Catherine, who suffered from manic depression and lived in an asylum at the foot of Ekeberg Hill, the scene depicted in the paintings. This revelation has only recently come to light due to cat-scans made of the paintings. It seems the cat had a perculiar way of signing the back of the canvas with the tip of his tail dipped in burnt umber and crimson.

Hmm... so what? What's your point? I don't need this useless information. It's not existential angst either. It's the truth. Suffering is a pseudo-creation. Suffering is unnecessary. And don't give me that "you have to suffer in order to know the opposite of suffering" BS. I know that it doesn't have to be this way.

Sure you do. It goes along with your current world view. It's pseudo-information, right? If suffering is a pseudo-creation, then it isn't really suffering after all, it just seems like it. Suppose in reality you are actually all hunky-dory inside, but you don't know it because your mind and body keeps mistakenly telling you you are feeling suffering. Think of your spirit as being in a crucible of life. At some point all the impurities will be burned away by pain. What's left is the truth of you.

Free your inner spiritual being from the concept of suffering and the rest of you will heal on its own in time. Whatever form or forms the suffering has taken must be discerned and then exorcised....cast out. Others will try and explain to you why you are suffering. Why is not important.

There may be no why...and maybe there is not even a how. Seize your soul and use it to free the rest of yourself from the myriad of chains and masters which have bound it since birth. Notice this kinda stuff is free only here in the Paranoia Files. You will be shunned and your name secretly marked with red X's if you stay here long.

Suffering is a pseudo-creation, but that doesn't meat that suffering isn't experienced, because there are beings trapped inside the pseudo-creation. To say that there is no such thing as suffering is foolish. Tell this to people who get tortured to death. I'm growing tired of debating this stuff. Soon the truth(s) of everything will be revealed to all, whatever that/they is/are. I'm outta here, bye.

When does this worldwide truth event take place pray tell? Will I find out exactly how much money my ex-husband really made last year so my attorney can file the papers and get my alimony increased? Will I know how much gasoline will be three years from now so I'll know whether to sell my Lexus and buy a more Economical automobile? And what about the stock market? Can I trust this truth thing to let me in on what to invest in? Will miniskirts be in a year from now? How about botox injections? Are all these tai chi lessons doing my bad knee any good or have I been wasting money? Is Ray really a closet liberal? Is Dax actually Helice's gardener? Are Iranian spies using the Paranoia Files to send each other secret messages back and forth?