I agree 100% Jazmoora. Who would have thought Edgar's warnings about these evil Elvis impersonators would one day become a reality? I wonder how many other things in Paranoia are gonna turn out to be prophetic like this. Scary stuff.

Speaking of stuff, I wonder if paranoia people know that Duck Tape can come in real handy in the event of a nuclear attack from one of these wacko phony Elvis's? Sure it can. You just put solid Duck Tape over all the windows and doors and go about your business like nothing was wrong. The thermo-nuclear generated heat will melt some of the glue on the other side, but you'll be warm and toasty on the tape side. Hope this makes people feel a little safer.

I always said Edgar Gene knew this Elvis Impersonator stuff like the back of his hand. He was right about the fake moon landing too. I wonder why he stopped posting in here...lost his password and sign in name probably. He was always forgetful as hell about the little things.

Edgar Gene, it has been brought to my attention that many Elvis Impersonators (excluding Kim Jung Elvis of course) are actually aliens in disguise, and as such are contributing members of human society. Therefore it has been decided that when aliens do finally takeover the paranoia files and have it firmly under alien control, Elvis impersonator background music will be mandatory listening to all our posters and readers. Enjoy.

You know, Edgar Gene, before I became a member of the clergy and went into the internet missionary field, I was a somewhat well known Elvis Impersonator in and around Las Vegas, Nevada. My first Elvis job was singing to the passengers on a UFO tour bus which made bi-weekly runs from Vegas to Roswell, New Mexico.

Although it was mostly an alien theme on this tour, I really did a jam up job singing the King's hits to all those loonies and UFO freaks. I guess even crazy people love Elvis. You shoulda seen those two skimpily dressed alien dancing girls cut up on that bus when we hit the Roswell city limits. I miss good times like that....and those wild parties at the Roswell Motel....but the pay was pathetic. Yeah, sometimes you just have to look for greener pastures.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm not seeing a problem.

The reason you are not seeing a problem is because you are possessed by the Elvis demon...as are millions around the world. There is hope. You must undergo an exorcism to remove this evil entity. I know a qualified exorcist who can help you be normal again, but first you must submit to a very thorough psychological examination to rule out some type of delusional disorder, and then you must be prepared for the exorcism. Luckily this particular exorcist makes house calls, and I see by your profile that you are residing within his domain of exorcism.

I urge you not to delay the exorcism as this particular demon is especially harmful to the psyche. Please feel free to contact me so that I may make the necessary arrangements. I am the go between...the middle man....I handle the details for the exorcist. Trust me.

Elvis used Duck Tape on practically everything at Graceland.

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I'm not seeing a problem...

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People who fall for Elvis impersonators never do..until...until it's too late.

A little known fact....most Elvis impersonators started their careers early on by eating canned dog food along with their banana and mayo sandwiches....Alpo beef chunks usually...with gravy.

Another little known fact....practically all Elvis impersonators live in substandard housing with popcorn ceilings.