You better watch yourself, pal, or I'll go rustle up Auntie and her Glock and sic her on you!

She won't miss a second time. Trust me.

Don't threaten me with the elderly. Just because you live in fear of guns and home invaders and murderers and robbers and telemarketers and televangelists doesn't mean we aliens must also live in fear of being gunned down in our own homes.

There is no Dawn because there is no so-called "New Era." And there is no CoEA (Church of Enlightened Assumption) or MoonWing Dove lady. There was never any real aliens either if the truth is known. Just illegal alien roofers from Matamoras and Brownsville drinking tequila and pretending to be abducted by little green men in rubber suits they found in the back of an old abandoned van in the desert. And MoonWing was really a bored sales person who worked in the women's shoe department at the J.C. Penny's store at Westfarms Mall.

There is no so-called New Era. There was a CoEA (Church of Enlightened Assumption) but all of the members, including MoonWingDove disappeared a few years back. How can that happen? Gone..several hundred people by all accounts.

Were they the ones who were taken onboard the UFO behind the comet a few years back...? Maybe all that comet stuff was real?

Mmmm ah yes, real. Some people would probably not care or be the least bit interested in the fate of a few dozen pilgrims who went and joined some kind of New Age internet church and then moved out to podunk Wyoming and built an enlightenment compound for themselves and then suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth with no trace or even a hint of where they went. Some people wouldn't, but I do, and for good reason I might add.

I suppose some people have short memories when it comes to this kind of thing. It was common knowledge that I had become quite fond of this MoonWingDove person and had a brief and what some would call a professional relationship with her here at Fool Moon. No, I did not belong to the CoEA (Church of Enlightened Assumption) but I respected their beliefs and their right to use these few scattered delusional threads to expound upon their ideas and form friendship bonds with the locals. Of course I may be assuming too much by thinking anyone even remembers or cares about the lost CoEA.

It has been rumored that the elderly couple who originally founded the CoEA (Church of Enlightened Assumption)had died and were secretly buried in an unknown location, perhaps in a remote rural wilderness area of Wyoming, but this is just hearsay and nothing more. After their deaths, MoonWingDove and the others went into seclusion and were never seen or heard from again.

Several people have sent me PM's and e-mails asking about the group, but I was not able to pass along any useful of factual information. Others claimed that the group was simply the fictitious creation of this mysterious MoonWingDove woman. "Oh sure," they used to say to me over and over, "..what kind of religious leader wears the same polka-dot dress and size 9 medium black heels for over 10 years...and that 1970's hairdo..what was that all about?"

While both Dawn and Era are quality household cleaning products, I fail to see what either has to do with protecting the general public from alien abduction.