In 2006, Oregon officials investigated a report by a masseuse that she had been sexually harassed and inappropriately touched by Al Gore, who was in town for a conference.

She's a licensed masseuse, so police investigated but did not find enough evidence to substantiate her claims.

If he's guilty, in my head it goes something like this:

MASSEUSE: Okay, just a little more on your trapesius and you can turn over, Mr. Vice President.

GORE: Say, are you interested in climate change? Because I'm getting hot.

MASSEUSE: I'll turn on the air conditioning.

GORE: How about turning ME on, sugar lamb?

MASSEUSE: Mr. Gore, I believe you have a woody.

GORE: Well yeah, but it's always that way, it never changes. I guess it's because I'm so stiff in general.

MASSEUSE: Perhaps we should end this session.

GORE: Look, I asked my assistant to take me to a massage parlor and he brought me here. How was I supposed to know you only gave massages?

MASSEUSE: I can't help you.

GORE: Do you realize that within a very short period of time there will be no polar ice cap? Oceans will rise to unprecedented heights. Cities, even entire countries, will be wiped off the face of the earth never to return. It might even mean the total destruction of human life. Given the enormously devastating nature of that catastrophe, what's the difference if I grab your boobs?

MASSEUSE: Mr. Gore! I'm reporting you.

GORE: To who? My wife? Like she'd ever divorce me. Hahahahaha!!