I don't how it happened. On 19 November 2008 at 18:07 I was lying on my bed listening to the news on the radio. Then suddenly I heard this loud, booming voice speaking directly inside my head.

“YOU MUST WRITE CONSPIRACY THEORIES...START WRITING NOW AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET...” the voice said in plain English with no accent.

At first I thought it was the radio and fiddled a bit with the dial to put it on the station again. But it wasn't the radio, because the voice was still there. I switched the radio off.

“GO WRITE YOUR FIRST CONSPIRACY THEORY NOW!” the voice demanded.

“But I am a writer of horror fiction.” I said to the invisible voice.

“AND DID YOU MAKE ANY MONEY FROM YOUR “HORROR” WRITING SOFAR.” the loud booming voice asked in what sounded to me like a sarcastic tone.

“No, for the past forty years of writing horror, I didn't make even one cent. Clive Barker didn't even want to open my submission. He said he could see from the envelope I used it was junk...”

“DID A LOUD BOOMING VOICE INSTRUCT YOU TO WRITE HORROR?” the voice in my head asked again in his sarcastic tone.

“No” I answered truthfully.

“SO DON'T YOU WANT TO TRY SOMETHING NEW. YOU CAN HEAR MY VOICE, BUT YOU CAN'T SEE ME. DOESN'T THAT TELL YOU SOMETHING. GO OUT AND WRITE CONSPIRACY THEORIES...PUT IT ON THE INTERNET...”

“But I tried to put my horror stories on the Internet two years ago and no one visited my site.” I said.

“THIS TIME THEY WILL COME. PUT IT ON THE INTERNET. USE GOOGLE'S BLOGGER AND THEY WILL COME...”

“But what about David Icke?” I asked. “He will target me and say I am trying to mislead the world. He will say he saw me turning into a Lizard...oh the horror, being exposed thus by the greatest conspiracy theorist of them all.”

“F*CK DAVID ICKE. HE TOOK THE RED PILL AND YOU TAKE THE BLACK PILL. THAT WILL SHOW YOU HOW DEEP THE MOLE HOLE REALLY GOES.

So with my head starting to get a painful pain from all the boomingness of the voice I decided to take a try.

As I open my computer the first conspiracy theory jut popped into my head and I started typing.

Since that faithful day at least one conspiracy theory per week simply jump into my head. Everything is now suddenly clear to me.

I understand now what the heck Professors Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, the Wachowski brothers, George Bush, etc. are trying to tell us. I understand how the Theory of Everything will work as well as the Economic News on the radio. I still don't understand maths. ( how can one plus one be two? Shouldn't it be one one?). I also still don't understand why Britney Spears cut all her hair and made her head bald.

And all this led me to FoolMoon. The more I read the discussions here the clearer everything becomes.

Do you guys think there is something wrong with me...

Should I report at my nearest (gasp) asylum?

Very few real genuine geniuses know how or even why it happens, Conspiracy Man. The important thing is it happened, and it happened to you. I think that's pretty special, and apparently so do a lot of other people out there. I personally have received hundreds of e-mails and PM's wanting to know who this new Conspiracy guy at Fool Moon is, and why he hasn't posted before. I just tell them he probably hadn't heard that big loud booming voice in his head until last November. Twelve of these were females under 29 years old (7 actually had their GED's) who wanted to know if you were seriously interested in a long term relationship or marriage. That's impressive.



See that proves it beyond a doubt, that the BLB voice is real and not the product of some impersonal corporate communications company or one of those big-haired Televangelist slugs trying to make some quick cash out of the deal. We had one of those here at FoolMoon for a while...The Reverend Luv D. Money was his name. We also had a prophet named Enoch Scofield, but he lost his password and sign in name and the powers that be here at FM wouldn't PM it to him on account of he was always right about everything and they weren't evidently.



What about him? So who cares about David Icke? Have there been any Reptilians being interviewed on CNN or Fox News lately? No there haven't. That proves he's full of Reptile poop right there doesn't it? A bunch of scary Reptilians are not Lizard Women.



Absolutely not. No way. Why would anyone in their right mind think there is something wrong with a guy who is convinced that the Lizard Women are coming to earth to suck our brains dry? The only problem I see with your overall endtime theme is this bogus idea that it will happen in 2012. That's the old phony Mayan/Nostradamus lie that somehow has seeped into your head from God knows where. Once you see a proper exorcist and have that 2012 demon expunged from your psyche, everything will start making more sense than it does now. Trust me on this one. I am in the know about such matters, and well, to be perfectly honest with you, I heard the big loud booming voice much earlier than you did, and it said to me "THOSE MAYANS DON'T KNOW SH^T ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD, OK?"



And lucky for us it happened this way. I mean, you could have been led to one or more of well over twenty million other websites, but through some weird twist of fate, you came here instead. That wasn't just some accidental Jungian synchronicity type coincidence you know. You were supernaturally chosen to be the one true Conspiratorial spokesperson for this website. I'd feel pretty special if I were you, but of course I am not you, but if I were I would not be going around making these outlandish claims about the year 2012. BTW, do these Lizard Women like to dance and go to movies or do they prefer just hopping into bed? I'd kinda like to know how to approach them when the endtime time comes.



I've always said that myself, and that's especially true when it comes to the Paranoia Files. Why woukld anyone in their right minds want to wasste valuable time discussing boring stuff like politics and religion and science when you can jump right into the Lizard Queen thing or learn about Chupacabras and mutilated goats in rural Mexico? Keep up the good work. Great conspiracies are what makes the world go round.

When I read this I thought to myself, no, he thinks I'm mad. So I visited my closest asylum where they allowed me to see a fat bespectacled psychiatrist. I told my story to him, while he looked at me with an amused expression on his face and continuously made some notes on a pad in front of him. I could see I was boring this man out of his skull.

He then asked me to mimic the Big Booming Voice. Just as I was about to start, I just heard this noise in front of me.

The psychiatrist looked at me as his eyes grew wider. Then this wet crunchy noise...and then I saw this big iron claw bloodily explode from his chest. Blood was streaming out his eyes and mouth and he must have died a painful death, because I could see the claw ruptured his lungs and for those last seconds he couldn't breath. Then the claw was pulled out of the now dead psychiatrist and this incredibly huge black man stepped out from behind the body.

Then he (the incredibly huge black man) flew over me and said in a voice that seemed to fill the whole room:
"Helen...be my victim, Helen...be my victim..."

"But I am not Helen, I am Conspiracy Man..." I said as I looked up to where he was floating upside down on the ceiling.

"F*ck", he said "I am in the wrong movie."

And then he disappeared.

What was that all about?

In any case, I realize now that you are right and that there is nothing wrong with me. I'll simply go on with the mission.

By the way, what happened to Erich Von Daniken. That man was always getting lost in the South American jungles. You could show him anything and he would say it was made by gods that cameth from outer space.

Show him an ancient shower head used by the Yogh Sototh to wash their victims before eating them and Von Daniken would immediately say it is a small model of a capsule that the ancient astronauts use when they landed on earth. Look, he would say, it look just like the capsule we use to land on the moon with in 1969, as if aliens who could travel between the stars would use primitive technolgy as was used by the Americans in the 1960 and seventies.

Where is Erich Von Daniken...I hope he didn't fall into a hole in one of those caves in the Andes Mountains and that no one bothered to go look for him.

People, we must go save Erich Von Daniken...

Erich Von Daniken is a great man. He's my hero. I have all his books in my library here at Psych. Ward 3B, except the three that Faithfulkisses borrowed and never returned. I distinctly remember telling her that night when we were up on the roof popping valiums and drinking 32 oz. Colt 45 malt Liquors that we had smuggled in by Ernesto, the Mexican exterminator guy....I said to her, "Faithy, my pretty, I want my Von Daniken books back now, ok, Doodlebug?" and she said "Of course, Floyd. You know how much I admire him and respect you."

Well, that was almost four years ago, and so far no Von Daniken books have been returned to me the rightful owner. All I'm saying is Faith is an ok woman, but you just can't loan her any Von Daniken books and expect to get them back. That's all.

Erich Von Daniken has his own $67 million dollar theme park in Interlaken, Mr. big shot conspiracy man with a lower case c and m. I am not aware of a conspiracy man theme park, but of course you may not have had time (or the money) to build one yet. Is that the reason? People who don't have their own theme park shouldn't be going round criticizing those who do.

Erich Von Daniken books can be bought for 5c a piece. It can be picked up in any flea market and most garbage bins.

I am sure it wasn't Faithfulkisses who borrowed the books from you, but some other female.

Seems you have a lot of freedom there in Pshych War 3B. All the intelligent people are always kept in such places, why I don't know...

Keep up the good work man.

You Jupeterian vesmasverboota, unhjklsnaana. (thought I didn't know swear words in you primitive language, eh?) As soon as I come back from the Andes Mountains, I am coming for you...

I am actually glad Erich did good for himself. That man was always so serious about the ancient junk he gathered. They say many South American jungle tribes took him for a joke...and gave him all sorts of junk, many of which they made themselves from pieces of sticks or little stones or old pieces of copper wire, and he would give long explanations of how the stuff came from this planet or that planet, brought to earth by ancient astronauts and gods with spacesuits made from straw and whathaveyou.

For example, the Yanomamo tribe gave him little toy animals they made for their children from pieces of old copper wire and Von Daniken immediately wrote a book saying it was models of the air vehicles the ancient astronauts flew around with on earth, as if ancient astronauts would use such creepy looking, impractical things to fly around in. He became the laughing stock of the conspiracy world, but this just made him stronger in his convictions...good for you Eric. I looovvve you Erich...

We - real conspiracy theorists - walk in the shadows...we don't open theme parks...

Last night I was reading the Epic of Gilgamesh, The Lament of Ur, and The Descent of Ishtar, but not necessarily in that order, and suddenly I'm thinking, hey, this is all sounding vaguely familiar as if...as if it's all starting to happen all over again for like the umpteenth time probably. Enki and the seven birth mothers are chosen from planet Nibiru to bear the first men, the women being the seven clan mothers from whom we are all descended. And how the 23 branches of life might be the 23 chromosomes, so so I'm lying there eating buttered Orville Redenbacher popcorn in bed and playing footsies with someone who I thought was my wife.

As it turned out she was someone else's wife or so she said, but then when I started to question her about who she was and why she was in my bed, she suddenly shapeshifted back into my wife right in front of me. So what with situation like we are facing now what with the economy in the downslide and bloody middle eastern wars going on and ethnic cleansing and tribal genocide in Africa I'm wondering where the Sumerians fit in to all this, and exactly who are the Neo-Sumerians and why haven't we been hearing from their leaders lately.

Then from up in the ceiling above my bed I hear the Big Booming Voice say to me: "GET OFF YOUR LAZY ARSE, WAKEN MAN!" (evidently it was using some kind of 60's hippie lingo for some reason known only to itself) "GO FORTH INTO THE BOWELS OF THE FOOLISH MOON AND SEEK THE NEW SEVEN CLAN MOTHERS FOR I WISH TO BUILD A NEW SPACEPORT WHERE THERE IS NONE." I looked over at my bed partner to see if she saw what I was seeing, but she was not there.

Then I heard her in the bathroom brushing her teeth and was glad. Now I'm wondering what exactly did the BBV mean by that...did it mean I should look for the 7 sacred mothers here at Fool Moon or did it mean the actual moon? There hasn't been 7 females in Fool Moon in at least 5 years, maybe longer...the BBV seems to asking for the impossible. What am I to do? The BBV doesn't like to be told no.

I am sure he means FoolMoon. So now I am starting to see the plan. The members of FoolMoon are going to be the new seed of the new civilization. It is beautiful.

That is why we were all drawn here..."GO TO THE INTERNET" he told me. So all of us belong here and is here for a specific purpose.

It is beautiful...

There MUST be seven females around here.

But is seven enough? You know with all their headaches and paranoia and demands. I think we should take seven hundred, meaning 350 for each one of us.

Two men is enough, what do you think? We are not very demanding, we don't eat that much and we are practical...

Conspiracy Man and Wakeholden as the new Adams seems ok to me, I don't know what you think. You restart the Northern Half of earth, I restart the Southern Part...

It is a tough job, I admit, but someone has got to do it.

Do you think we should start recruiting at model agencies, etc?

Seven hundred is enough or should we make it more...

We would have to mmhh...yeah that...night and day...day and night...night and day...oh, Thor!

Unfortunately, under the terms of my probation, I am not allowed to participate in any reproductive activities until 2012, nor am I allowed to asssociate with any sexually active females who are either submissive and obedient or both. I am also not allowed to consume or discuss the consumption of or the preparing for consumption certain green vegetable and fruity foods such as broccoli, lettuce, cabbage, brussel sprouts, cucumbers, avocadas, Granny Smith apples, and... *pickles*.

my friend are you also some kind of perverted criminal with alien implants on top of that. Do you think you can be trusted? Do you think you can trust yourself?

I am entering the caves now here in the Andes Mountains in my search for Von Daniken. Before I came down the rope ladder here I met a strange fat fellow, calling himself Rusty or Dusty. He sat in the shade of a caravan having a barbecue. Gave me a piece of cloth with a strange symbol on. Told me to say hi to you Wakeholden. He also told me to tell you: "it always rain when you forget your umbrella at your mistress's house"

I don't think my inter-dimensional laser calibrated always on super duper PDA will be able to receive or send signals when I am deep in the cave system...so I say cheers until I see you guys again...

keep up the good work and Conspiracies R Us beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I am not I repeat, I am NOT a criminal. In fact I have received several prestigious awards for community service in my present location. As for the implants, I believe I have stated in another post that I recently discovered two such monitoring devices which had been attached to my hip bones during surgery a few years back by an orthopedic surgeon who evidently was being controlled by non-human entities. These devices have been recording all my bodily functions, conversations, thoughts, and sleeping patterns and relaying them to a secure location several light years from earth.

Certain individuals with agendas here at FoolMoon Paranoia have falsely accused me of aiding and assisting aliens, including one which called itself Jazmoora, and I hasten to add that I categorically denied this blatantly false accusation which has seriously damaged my otherwise impeccable reputation. While it is true that I was briefly associated with this misguided deranged creature for purely business reasons, I did not participate in it's slimey orgies with certain female members which were then in its employ and who are no longer present mostly because they continuously violated protocol and had unnatural relations with non-human species.



Had you made sufficient inquiries beforehand, this question would not be necessary. As I have said, my reputation speaks for itself. Had you simply asked any one of a hundred or so individuals at this website they would have promptly assured you that I am completely trustworthy and can be trusted in all matters directly or indirectly related to planet earth's cyber security. As the former FoolMoon Paranoid Ambassador to The World Headquarters Central Communications Command, I was in charge of the redefining and disseminating all previous misinformation into real non-misinformation information at this location and all other locations under my jurisdiction.



Absolutely! I often trust myself, especially when there is noone else around to trust, which is often what with the economy in the dumps and few people other than the occasional conspiracy buff posting here in the Paranoia Files. Then of course there is Faithfulkisses who could be trusted once upon a time, but I'm afraid that's no longer the case because she has chosen to become a normal person again. I alone can be trusted. I hope this answers any questions which you failed to ask had you been inclined to ask those questions in the first place which you were not for whatever reason or reasons seemed important at the time you chose not to ask them.

Erich von Daniken

Alas, I didn't find von Daniken. I did discover something else, though. A complete underground world.

This underground is so beautiful that people won't believe me. The strange thing about this world is that you can only travel forward by solving puzzles. Would you like to go in by this gate to walk through that passage; then you first have to find this clue or that clue somewhere in the room you are in to solve the puzzle of opening the door. It is very interesting, but sometimes it can be frustrating, because you are in a hurry to find out what is at the back of that door. Not solving the puzzle, means you don't move forward, because everything in that underground world has been made by an ancient race and they did good work. There is no way of breaking doors, gates or whatever open. The ONLY way to move through is by solving puzzles.

But I am back at FoolMoon. What has been happening here? I see I lost Faithfulkisses to a guy who looks like an Elvis impersonator. The lost is mine and I can't deny that I feel a bit sad and heartbroken, but life goes on. You win some, you lose some.

I have also decided to take off my mask and show the people what I really look like. Yes, I know some are not going to like it, but others will adore it. This is who I am and I am not ashamed of it. After 2012 many earthlings are going to look like this in any case.

In this strange underground world I found that I am not only a Conspiracy Man, but also a prophet. That is prophet and not profit. People can read all about it on my latest web site.

The person known as Conspiracy Man has not posted in quite some time. It is feared he has met with foul play and is being held against his will at an undisclosed location by the Peruvian government where he is being beer-boarded, which is kinda like being water-boarded only they use cheap Peruvian beer instead of the more pricey imported brands from Europe.

Thus far Conspiracy Man has not revealed the location of Erich Von Daniken to his captors, but it is not clear how long he will be able to hold out under these very difficult circumstances. Hopefully, the BBV (Big Booming Voice) will speak to him and reveal a cleverly devised plan of escape and reunification. Meanwhile we hope for the best and as always this is echo'd by our fine staff here at the un-paranoid Paranoia Files. It has been rumored that Conspiracy Man has been allowed to post at the real Paranoia Files, but our information does not verify this rumor as being true. unfortunately, such permission has been denied as was expected.

I ... currently ... Jupiter. ... very difficult ... through to earth, although ... most earth TV station ... seen ... on Jupiter. ... to do with the sun, because signals to earth ... against the rays of the sun.
I am busy kicking ass over ...... setting ... devices ... monitor ...movement ... Annunaki starships ...when... enter the solar system.
... back on earth soon and...post regularly once again

Welcome back, Conspiracy Man. Btw, is there a Conspiracy Woman in your life, and if so, can she be trusted?

Well, as promised here I am back to tell you about my trip to Jupiter. I am sure many of you thought that I was kidnapped by the forces of evil, but I wasn't. I am a conspiracy man and know what these forces of evil want to do even before they know it themselves.

In my continuing quest for the truth, but mainly sensation making conspiracy theories, I discovered that the famed Area 51 is nothing but an illusion. A deception, a trick, to make people concentrate on something that is completely useless... to waste valuable resources on something that has no value. Yes, gentle reader Area 51 is but another way that the forces of evil - who wants to take over this planet - pulled the wool over our eyes. While everyone is concentrating on Area 51 with its "flying sauces/sources/saucers", and movies of autopsy on aliens and what have you, the real stuff have been going on at another place.

I can reveal now that place is Area 151, or Area One Five One, as the forces of evil call it. It is from Area One Five One that the spaceships leave and come from the earth-colonies on Mars, Jupiter, the moon and Uranus. Area One Five One is located in one of the most inaccessible places on earth, namely the North Pole and then further more it is build inside the earth, very close to the living space of the Annunaki, yes...

Using all manners of deceit, which I can't reveal here and is only available to a Conspiracy Man, I enter this humongous Area (you won't believe how big it is).

I then discovered that the space ship, the USS Jennifer Aniston, was on its way to Jupiter to make a delivery of the latest Playstation Portable to the personnel and colonists over there. I decided to hide myself on the ship to see what this is all about and also to get some Jupiterians who have been working on my nerves on some of the Internet forums.

There is nothing to report about the flight itself. The ship is as big as a normal ocean liner and just as luxurious. It uses the famed Will-Be-Was engine and make the trip in about three hours. I simply sneaked into the kitchen at night (yes, they follow the normal 24 hour earth cycle on the USS Jennifer Aniston) and made myself some meals for the next day. Then I used the toilet and took a shower, while everyone is asleep. No need for guards or anything like this here, because normally there is not crime or anything in that line on these ships. Then I went back to my hiding place where I played some games on my PSP until the next night...oh yes and also catching up on my sleep.

Jupiter is huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggge. We didn't land on Jupiter with the USS Jennifer Aniston (why they name their ships after famous American actresses I still can't figure out.) No, we went down with a super fast space elevator. Yes, they actually have this thick cable coming down, or up (depends on your perspective) from the planet to this elevator station in the space above the planet. You get into the elevator in this station and then you push the button that say “Planet” and down you go. Boy, was I glad that I used the toilet before getting onto that elevator...whooooooooooooooooooooow...

On Jupiter itself everybody lives underground. Over the years a special Jupeterian human has been developed. They are very big. About eight feet tall and three feet broad. They are extremely strong in earth human terms, but on Jupiter they need that kind of strength to survive above ground. The gravity of Jupiter is 40 times that of earth. A normal earthling won't even be able to lift his one foot in front of the other, because his feet will be the weight of a pick up truck on Jupiter.

(by the way, FoolMoon members, these people who call themselves “Anonymous” are actually from Jupiter.)

Earth humans go straight down underground where an artificial earth-like gravity is in use. Really, people, you won't believe what NASA developed over the years, both on their own and with the help of Aliens.

In any case, these Jupiterians are being used to develop the surface of Jupiter. They are building cities, laying out farms and doing some mining. It is amazing.

Although they have been busy with this since the late nineteen fifties, they didn't even cover five percent of one percent of the planet...now you can imagine for yourself how big the planet is.

Next time I will tell of my own adventures on the giant planet, Jupiter.

Hello, hello, hello...what is happening here. Nobody is taking note or responding to my posts anymore? Is it because I revealed the truth? Everybody thought I was going to give wacky, way out of this world theories, but now I give solid facts.
And now every body in the know is scared to even touch me with a ten foot pole.
Well, when those 540 gazillion megaton starships crash into earth we will see who touches who with ten foot poles and who laughs last.

It will be ME...I tell you...MEEEEE...because I will be drinking Coke in my Titanium Underground Hiding place...

Mwahaha...mwahaha...mwahaha

I will tell the world all I know and discover no matter how crazy you think I am.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO THERE...EEEEEERRRRGHHH

Mwahaha...mwahaha...mwahaha

"Drinking Coke"...I hate to tell you this but Coke is actually fuel for the bio-implants. You didn't think your body could run on High-Fructose Corn Syrup did you.

Coke stands for "Chelated Organic Kryptonite Energizer"

Kryptonite is the code name for the implants which is an example of their sick humor that these implants are our weakness and control us.

The Coke molecules are encapsulated and vibrationally harmonized to be attracted to the implants so as they travel from your stomach into the bloodstream they are transported quickly to the implant. Of course, only a small amount of molecule is needed to power the implants and the rest is discarded naturally. In order to encourage Coke consumption, the taste and caffeine levels have been manipulated to engage brain addiction. And don't fool yourself, every soda, even now most bottled waters are COKE products. Pepsi is simply a front to confuse you.

Those failing to submit the proper Coke molecules to the implant are punished by the implant sapping other energy from the body. This often results in overly skinny physiques and forcing the implant to engage in parasitical activity results in unusual behavior such as over-attraction to natural foods or natural fibers and is often associated with hippies, or followers of Oprah and Eckhart Tolle. The dangers associated with the parasitical functions of the implants far outweighs the consumption of Coke.

Thanks, Red. After reading your warning I have destroyed all the different forms of Coke I had on my premises.

Thanks for the warning, man, I was wondering where the strange headache and lust after Coke came from. I will start a detox program immediately and no Coke or Coke related products will be allowed in the Titanium Underground Hiding Place (2HiP)

You sound like a very clever and educated MAN. Would you be interested in accommodation in the 2HiP in 2012? Not only will we be the only males alive, we will also be locked in there with 700 female super models. If that is not an offer you can't refuse I wonder what is!! Hahahahahahaha.

By the way I did ask Wakeholden to join me in the 2HiP, but he claims to have a criminal record and we don't want to start a new world with a criminal now, do we...

Finally, I am able to confirm that you are indeed the real Conspiracy Man and not some upstart imposter as I first suspected. Your true identity has also been double-confirmed by our worldwide fingerprint keyboard ID scanning system which has been secretly installed on all computer keyboards sold worldwide since 1969.

Each time you touch a key, your fingerprint is scanned and sent to our underground security HQ. right here in the basement of The Paranoia Files Command Center located in downtown West Hartford, Connecticut right off the town square. Please feel free to visit our street level Paranoid Visitor Center if you are in the area, and enjoy a delicious coke and some of that wonderful New England pastry. The cannoli and the tiramisu are especially good.

As for Area 15, a quik-skan of U.S. and U.K. Defense Dept./ Pentagon relia-source maps indicates that no such place exists outside the mind of Conspiracy Man. Evidently, CM has fallen victim to a very clever misinformation event horizon event, one which was orchestrated by the Annunkaki Propaganda Brigade and their coke-addicted Lizard Women enforcers. An inquiry to NASA also revealed that to their knowledge there are no, I repeat no bases, colonies, or space stations on or near Jupiter, Uranus, Mars, or the Moon. There was also no mention of the USS Jennifer Anniston, but they did acknowledge that there might be a USS Sarah Palin and a USS Paris Hilton.

Further updates will be posted as soon as they have been encrypted and censored by our security personnel. Meanwhile please feel free to enjoy one of our cold refreshing Coke products while you wait. And remember, all Annunaki produced quality products have the Good Housekeeping seal of approval. Thank you.

Well CP, I accept your invitation. And I agree, that Wake Holden seems a bit suspect to me. When someone has a criminal record and starts proclaiming the wonders of bureaucracy, you have to wonder if he has been compromised, whether consciously or unconsciously.

Although about COKE, you did read further and see the dangers of COKE avoidance didn't you. I don't want you starting to have airy-fairy thoughts that the world is all ok. That wouldn't sit too well with someone who had been focused on uncovering the evil conspiracies.

While the implants have proven to be pernicious and difficult to remove completely what can be done is nullify the connection with the brain. This can be done, surprisingly, with cheese. Good aged cheddar works best. The combination of the proteins and the bacteria that created the cheese serve as a powerful nullifier of the implants, it's as if you unplugged the speakers of a stereo playing Mariah Carey - it can still be running but now it bothers no one. So keep drinking the Coke, but just make sure you complement it with the occasional cheese.

WHAT! Now I am sure you are not Wakeholden. The real Wakeholden would never believe anything that comes from NASA. Didn't you read my now world famous article, titled: The Moonlanding really was fake?

Pull yourself together, man and stop drinking the Coke. Didn't you hear what Red told me?


In the first place it is Area ONE FIVE ONE (151). Do you really believe you will find it on US or UK Defense Department maps?
STOP DRINKING THE COKE...The Illuminati got to you and is pulling the wool over your eyes leading you away from the real truth. (Man!)Come back to the light...to the light...

USS Paris Hilton, huh? Do you think Paris Hilton will be interested in joining us in the 2HiP. Wouldn't it be great? To start the new earth with a fantastically beautiful woman like that. If Jennifer Aniston joins us, you and Red can have the other 698 super models, I will be satisfied with Paris and Jennifer or P and J as I will call them.

Thanks for all the info man, but I have no implants. I was never abducted by Aliens. You must also remember that I have super powers and is thus invulnerable. I will still stop drinking Coke; to give my system a good detoxification. After that, I will have the occasional Coke and a bit of cheese, say what.

I am also very concerned about Wakeholden. I really like him a lot, but when he starts believing information from NASA and the US Defense Department, I am getting very worried.

We must help our friend. Haven't you got some a Cokifier or some other ray that we can shoot him with to bring him back to his senses?

The world needs people like Wakeholden. My people are already working to find out where he disappears on weekends. I am sure once we find out where he goes on weekends, we will know who is trying to turn our Wakeholden into an ordinary, boring human being.

By the way did the Americans catch Osama Bin Laden yet...?

Oh you thought implants were from the Aliens? That was a bit of misinformation from the Government. As far as whether you have them or not, well, odds are you do. They generally are ingested in our body as nano-parts and assembled by nanobots. The fact that you wrote:

"You must also remember that I have super powers and is thus invulnerable."

...is substantial proof that you are infected. The correct verb would be "am thus", not "is thus". This small defect in verb translation is a common product of implant infection. It is like the rampant spelling on the internet of "loose" when they mean "lose".

As far as Wake, I have worried about him since I arrived. He has obviously far too much respect for government and the one sure treatment, if we can get an agent close enough, is a swift yet decisive kick in the nuts. That will flood his nervous system with pain transmission and override the control that is being exterted over him. We have 4 maybe 5 minutes tops before the pain subsides to inject him with a suitable substance to shield his nervous system from such pervasive control. If the time limit is exceeded it can be extended by pulling out nose hairs, one at a time, though the screaming complicates the immunization.

Of course the Americans have Bin Ladin, they always did. He actually is an intelligence analyst working on the 18th sub-floor of the Pentagon and was tapped to create the mythology first to torment the Soviets during the Cold War and was re-used with darker motives to remove freedoms from law. Oppression is accepted freely by the unthinking, implant-controlled masses if there is a boogey-man.

And "detoxification"? This is exactly what I was saying, you're starting to turn into a goddamn hippie. Next you'll be wanting to meditate, wear hemp, and give wellness blessings to your neighbors. Salvation is a red and white can brother. Remember, who are the ones telling you Coke is bad and trying to pass laws to stop you - yup, the government. They stopped the Coke push because they figured hippies are the best people to govern because they are real suckers. Look at who they elected based on "hope" alone. Hope! That was pure evil genius.

You will be pleased to learn that you have just won a free 2009 Counterterrorism Calendar for that remark, Red. Simply go to the U.S. National Counterterrorism Centre's calendar website for the free download. The alternative # 2 prize of a free one year's subscription to "The Onion" went to Conspiracy Man, but unfortunately Internet Superheroes are not allowed to accept free gifts or other such tax exempt incentives. Sorry, Consp. Man. Rules are rules.



The term "Hippie" is most often used in a derogatory sense by those who wish to describe any long-haired unkempt individual who is a frequent drug user and one who has a somewhat leftist leaning progressive liberal outlook on life, someone who may or may not be living in a Bohemian enclave with other like-minded individuals of both sexes who often practice free open sexual contact among, with, and between one another. This seems highly unlikely, as Consp. Man seems obsessed with mainly one female person, Jennifer Anniston.

The diet in such Bohemish environs would in all likelihood consist of mainly bread and honey, ice box pickles, homemade biscotti, homemade granola, baked squash casserole, quinoa with sliced beets and shredded carrots, and the staple vegetarian chili-con-tofu...all made with certified organic ingredients of course.

Most hippie scholars have concluded that "Hippie Style" has outlived hippie substance, and it is the former which is the more marketable aspect of the now largely mainstreamed phenomenon. As to whether Conspiracy Man adheres to the economic philosophy of targeted rebellious non-conformity marketing and consumption, I haven't a clue. Could his penchant for Lizard Women be a result of an aggressive Hippie conspiracy marketing scheme which ran amok in his neighborhood? Hmmmmm, I wonder.

Don't talk to me about The Onion, man. They rejected my articles several times. They say they want satire, while I sent them stuff that is really real. I thought everything in their newspaper is really real, say what. Can anybody tell me what this "satire" and "libel" is. I write the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth. One will never be able to prove any of the conspiracy theories in any case, because the Illuminati will hide the evidence to prove it, or what.
In any case, what has been going on around here? Does people realize that we have but two years and about four months left, before we won't be able to use out microwaves, Playstations and super duper computers anymore...?

I watched Hackers the other night. (Yes, we do have television here in darkest Africa, what did you think?) That is so cool, man. I wish I was as clever as that with computers and to run to public telephones and get the Internet from there and hack into all kind of high security networks. Except for Angelina Jolie. Why do they put her in all the cool movies, while she is so drastically uncool. Thanks for showing Jennifer Aniston what a dork Brad Pitt is, Angelina! Hahahaha...

But in any case, where can I learn to do stuff like that with a computer. I mean tapping the keys like mad, without even looking and NEVER using the mouse, that is super cool...

I am also trying to work on my book: DUDE, WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY TUNA SANDWICH ON RYE BREAD, but is so busy planning what Jennifer and I will be doing in the 2HiP that I seem to be making no headway.
By the way does anybody have Jennifer's personal email address. If you are on this forum, Jennifer - because you look like the intelligent sort of girl that will be on a forum like this, please contact me.

Thanks Wakeholden, thanks Red, you guys are great ... By the way what happened to these Matrix like programs that pretended to be real humans that were always on Fool Moon????

I've been watching for that book at Barnes and Nobles and Borders, but so far, it's been a no show. Whenever I ask about it, the clerk says she never heard of it or anyone named Conspiracy Man. "Who's the publisher?" she always asks me, and I say "I have no idea, Darlin'" And then she tells me when it comes in, she'll e-mail or text me. Last time she asked me "Is it a cookbook?" (Well, is it?)



Thanks to a special type of software which was developed by our scientists at the Laufenberg Science Foundation in Knudy, Sweden, we are no longer plagued by those horrific parasites...the Bertha DeeLush, etc. entities.

Our own dear lovely Faithfulkisses worked tirelessly day and night on that project, and as a result, we are now free from such infectious bothersome maladies. It takes dedication and hard work to keep the Paranoia Files free of such intruders. That's why Faith isn't around much anymore. She's recovering from being overworked, and of course she consumes more than her share of Corona beer.

Man, you gringos are some weird dudes.

My book is not available yet. Every time I am almost ready to publish something new happens or I discover a new conspiracy. Because I am writing my book with a pencil (will be a good conversation piece when they invite me on Oprah and Larry King)I have to do a lot of erasing every time I have to change whole chapters.

This book is very important. I am going to have it printed on Annunuki proof paper, which means it will be the only book left for future generations. That is why everything must be hundred percent accurate. This will be the guide for the After Annunaki Apocalypse Generation.

Can you people see how important this book is going to be...??

In any case, why am I still a new member? When will I get promoted and what privileges comes with this promotion.

There is a mad person called Helice or Helite who keeps on editing my entries. I can't mention words like XXXX (edited by Helice) or XxXxXxXXxXXXxx (edited by Helice) and he edits it.

See what I mean. What is wrong with this guy? Is he like the boss of this forum? Or what?

...

Eddie? Eddie Chalupa? Is this really you, Eddie? After all these years? This is a surprise to run across you here on Fool Moon of all places. When did you get out of jail? I thought you got 7 years for running all those Nigerian 419 scams from your cousin's place in Mexico. Small world.

You see what happened to poor Eddie Chalupa's post, Conspiracy Man. It was deleted by men in black who are posing as Helice. And who are these post-nappers in black pretending to be Fool Moon Administrators? Ha! They are members of the "Shadow Government" which is being run by a white-washed zombie which calls itself Michael Jackson, who has supernaturally transformed himself into a Barack Obama imposter, and it is this evil Pseudo-Obama entity which is currently running the Shadow Government from the basement of the White House. MJ has taken over where Dick Cheney left off).

How do I know all this, you may be asking? The facts speak for themselves, Man. Recently, the real President Obama came out with the "Cash For Klunkers" program during the day, but Michael and his operatives immediately initiated rumors and lies designed to sabotage the program. Why? Because Michael is planning on making a comeback in 2012 when he runs for President on the Republican ticket. All Republicans and all so-called "Blue Dog Democrats" are brainwashed orcs and ghouls being controlled by Michael, except for Sen. Joe Lieberman who is actually a Golem.

And his (Michael's) running mate will be Yes, none other than Sarah Palin, who quit her job as Gov. of Alaska to become a member of the Shadow Govt. She also has a double (who is actually an Annunaki Lizard sex slave woman) who will soon make her debut on Fox Network with her own talk show. Her first guest will be none other than David Icke, who is a member of the U.K. Shadow Government, and who will be crowned King of England in 2012.

I know how you feel about David Icke, Conspiracy Man, and I thought long and hard before I posted this, what with him being your hero and all, but sometimes it's better when we face the fact that certain hero figures aren't what we have been led to believe initially. They screw up too.

This week, I personally spoke to the Prophet, Enoch Scofield using a medium named Dawn, who channeled Enoch's voice from the other side (Canada in this case). Brother Enoch said that David Icke is actually the antichrist who comes out of the European Union and eventually controls all financial transactions and banking worldwide. Enoch also said Icke will marry a beautiful Chinese woman who will become Mrs. David Icke, wife of the antichrist...and yes, she is also an Annunaki Lizard woman.

David Icke is going to marry a beautiful Chinese woman???? I really hope it is not Lucy Lu, because she is one hot Chinese woman that I really really want in the 2HiP with me.

But all this is really very interesting stuff that I will really look in to.

The next American President Election is in 2012, is it not? The same year that the Lizard women crash land on earth!!!! Co-incidence..., I think not. (Since becoming Conspiracy Man, this has become my favorite quote.)

In any case I really hope I get promoted soon. (If somebody's palm must be silvered or even gilded, please let me know). I REALLY like the title OVER EXPERIENCED MEMBER.

Whaaaaaaat???? You want to tell me Lucy Lu has been an Annunaki Lizard woman all these years. UNBEfxxxingLIEVABLE (edited by Helice)

But if this is what these Annanuki look like, I, for one, actually have no problem with them coming to earth...or even crashing into earth.

I've heard of this Enoch Scofield...wasn't he the one who helped Mandela escape from that South African prison where he was kept. Scofield apparently broke INTO the prison,went to Mandela's cell and started digging a tunnel using only a dessert spoon, which he always carry in his left sock. That is why it took Mandela twenty seven years to escape from jail. Mandela also had to hide Scofield for all these years under a stack of papers which he claimed to be speeches he was going to give once he became president of South Africa. The guards laughed so hard, that they never bothered to check the heap of papers and thus never discovered Scofield. Or at least that is what I heard.

Yes, it is nice isn't it? But you know, C-Man, I didn't start out being an over experienced member. As I recall, when I first showed up in here, I was labeled with all kinds of unwholesome demeaning titles like troublemaker, alien sympathizer, 5th column, Buzzjerko, etc. but I never let that bother me. No sir.

I kept on smiling and posting no matter what they stuck over my avatar to ridicule me in front of my friends and make me feel insecure. Along about that time is when I also started eating baked locusts and honey sandwiches on whole wheat and drinking wild gogi berry juice. Next thing you know I log in one day and there it is OVER EXPERIENCED MEMBER.

Some of y'all are really "out there".......huh!

Looks like another brain-washed newbie coming into the fold. Soon enough his eyes will be opened. And by the way Randy, you are now Number 7.

Depends. In this day and time being normal is not exactly a desirable state of mind to find yourself being in. At times it may seem to some that I am perhaps teetering a tad too close to the edge, but in reality I am a very well-balanced individual with a neutered dog, four drug-eluting stents in my arteries, a wife who has three advanced degrees, a commode which starts making gurgling noises each night around 2:15 AM, and a lifetime membership in the local Sherlock Holmes Society.

At some point in your tour of duty here, you will no doubt be contacted by certain nefarious "normal" individuals who have an agenda or agendas. One or two are anarchist magicians, and one or two belong to an online cult church which calls itself the CoEA (Church of Enlightened Assumption)which is run by a ex-hippie woman named MoonWing Dove. Make no mistake, they intend to convert you to their way of thinking, something I would never do in my disoriented paranoid state of mind which ebbs and flows not unlike the lunar tides.

Welcome randy with a little r from Ohio, the buckeye state. What is a buckeye anyway? Do people there have buckeye parades and buckeye festivals and buckeye t-shirts? Is buckeye pie good with ice cream? Do buckeyes reproduce?

Randy, please ignore the pinko, bureaucracy-loving WakeHolden who is simply a schill for THE MAN, trying to undermine the mission of our brother ConspiracyMan and every other free-thinking blessed individual coming here for the key to breaking the chains from the coming NEW WORLD ORDER.

The first order of business is to overcome the influence of the implants which WakeHolden obviously considers benevolent. May I suggest an occasional Coke (which does power the implants, but withholding fuel makes the implants resort to turning the individual into a mush-brained hippy - so supplying fuel is recommended) combined with natural Cheddar Cheese (which combination of amino acids and cheese-making bacteria have been shown to neutralize the implant's impulses on the nervous system thus freeing the mind for unobstructed thought).

As you can see, this is critical information. Information that WakeHolden would rather you not know about because, as a SCHILL FOR THE MAN, his job is to infiltrate the conspiracy scientists and sabotage their efforts, trying to ensure the successful implementation of the NEW WORLD ORDER. But I have discovered his true intentions and forced him to admit such in varying degrees. So make your choice, but save yourself, don't listen to WAKEHOLDEN!

Something else WakeHolden doesn't want you to know - THE NEW WORLD ORDER CURRENCY WAS REVEALED AT THE G8 SUMMIT!!!

http://www.prisonplanet.com/medvedev-unveils-world-currency-coin-at-g8.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/5051075/A-world-currency-moves-nearer-after-Tim-Geithners-slip.html

Yes you should be scared! WE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!!

Stock up on guns, gold and gunpowder my friends!

Number 7 ?? uhh.... Spock,......Is that you?............

Number 7 ?? uhh.... Spock,......Is that you?............ Thanks for the welcome. I guess buckeye pizza is probably the best with ice cream....and yes, we do have all of those buckeye things....sad isn't it? Even more sad....oh, I can't talk about it..sob, sniff, snort....

Have you never watched the Prisoner? I am Number 1 and Helice is Number 6. The number is derived by going into your profile and finding your user number and adding all the numbers together until you get to one number. You have the user number of 1492 which 1+4=5+9=14+2=16 Add 1+6 and you get your true name - Number 7.

Oh and Number 7, BTW, We want...Information.

randy, welcome to the most intelligent forum on the Internet.

I can only tell you the truth. Massive, 540 gazillion megaton space ships, driven by sex crazed lizard women are on their way to earth at the speed of light. Like all women drivers, these Lizard- or Annunaki females can't drive properly and they are going to crash into earth with these massive space ships on 21 December 2012. There is nothing anyone can do here on earth to stop them, because we haven't got the technology.

On the other hand the world is being taken over by New World Order guys, of which Wakeholden is the representative here on Fool Moon. These New World Order guys take like a million years to do even the most unimportant thing, but will eventually take over the world. They think everything they do is secret, but the whole world knows about their gazillion year plan to take over the world. Read any David Icke book for proof of this.

Beware of Helice! She is like Mrs Van Oordt, your grade two teacher, who continually watches you and just waits on you to make a mistake to come down on you like a ton of bricks. However she is a very beautiful, naked water nymph. Beware, of her my friend...

I - Conspiracy Man (echo)- is the world's only hope.

I am building a Titanium Underground Hiding Place in my backyard. (Do you perhaps know where I can get about 50 cubic meters of Titanium for free?) I am taking seven hundred lingerie models with me into the Titanium Underground Hiding Place or 2HiP as I call it for short, as well as Jennifer Aniston, Paris Hilton and Lucy Liu. I am also taking Red and Wakeholden with to have men - who I can discuss real issues with - while the outside world is covered in a nuclear winter. You're an adult so you know why we take the females with (wink wink, nutch, nutch). There will be lots of chips, Cokes, cheeses, pies and whathave you in stock to last us at least ten years.

You sound like a nice guy and I like your Southern drawl or whatever you Americans call it. You can consider yourself invited into the 2HiP when the time comes.

Keep up the good work, man...

Oh, before I forget. Red is correct about the Coke and cheese to counter the implants. I am invulnerable, because I am a super Conspiracy Man, but I tested the Coke and cheese on a human girl I know. After she had several Cokes and some cheese the implants didn't work anymore and she actually lost all inhibitions. If you want to test this on a girl near you I would suggest mixing the Coke with some brandy. Such a mixture seems to work even better than clean Coke. With the bubbliness of the Coke, the smoothness of the cheese and the rich old smell of the brandy no implant, whether Alien or New World Order, stands any chance.

REMEMBER, my friend, you heard it all here on Fool Moon, where intelligent people come to chat.

The information is: Michael Jackson is alive, and using the name Flavo Flave. No, I'm not kidding. Look closely next time you are channel surfing and stop on Stupid TV network.

How's that? Now, please put your trays in the upright position,and fasten your seat belts. It's gonna get bumpy.

Uuuuh, Conspiracy Man, in another dimension, were you ever known as "Howlin' Mad Murdock"? He was my hero. Now, about the cheeze, can I substitute Cheeze Whiz? I've been saving a case of the stuff behind the spare tire of my 1962 Nash Rambler for twelve years, along with my inflatible Dolly Parton doll, and a case of twinkies. I sold my five hundred pound ball of aluminum foil when the price of aluminum was up, but, I have saved all the guitar strings I've used since I was nine. Now I'm #7...... God, this is getting strange. #7, over and out....

I almost forgot, thanks for the invitation to join you guys, and all them women, in 2HiP, when the time comes. Do y'all have lots of beer and fireworks? Man,that spells P-A-R-T-Y to me.....and I'll bring my grenades and AK in case we're attacked. Say, what day does 12-21-2012 fall on? I wouldn't want to miss "You Can Touch the Strippers Nite" at Clydes "Bar-Grill-Bait-and-Tackle Lounge"....

haha, hoho, hehe...no, my friend, you are confusing reality with a TV show now. Murdock was a character in The A Team, an eighties TV series.

Fool Moon is the real world, my friend. The Annunaki women are on their way to earth as you read this and the New World Order are slowly by steadily taking over the world. Why do you love Kentucky Fried Chicken so much???And why is KFC available everywhere on earth, even at the North- and South Pole???? Did you ever think about that? Its these New World Order guys, my friend. They are everywhere...They control everything. My Paranoia Files friends tell me they even have devices hidden in your toilet, yes, my friend, they even monitor you in your most private moments...

In any case, you can bring any kind of cheese or cheeze or even chease. We also have Playstations and PC's galore in the 2HiP. More than enough plasma screen TV's, DVD players and more than enough DVD's for ten years. You guys who take strong drink can also bring your own, no problem. It is a party all the way into a whole new beginning for earth. When I say party, I mean PAAAAAAAAAAARTTTYYYY...

(Just remember, Lucy Liu, Jennifer Aniston and Paris Hilton are off limits to you guys. They are my personal guests.)

You are most welcome and I simply love the way you say "all them women"...

No I've made it clear that it must be natural cheese. Cheezewiz, cheetohs, cheezits or any of that other stuff packaged by THE MAN to confuse you, does not apply or work.

You got that right! Col Saunders was part of the Triumvirant, consisting of the time of The Rothchilds, The Getty's and Col Saunders before he went tets up. He puts an addictive chemical in the chicken to make you crave it fortnightly.





That's ok, I am bringing Felicia Day, Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Garner and Evangeline Lily.

Randy, Randy, Randy my boy! I can see right now I am going to have to start monitoring these forums much much closer than ever before. Far too much misinformation and outright lies are being spread by these extremist Anarchist Magicians and their bimbo-obsessed lackeys who are trying to get a leg up in the Conspiracy movement. And of course Cheez-whiz is an appropriate NWO approved substitute for regular all-natural cheese products. After all, Cheez-whiz was designated as a vegetable along with ketchup by none other than Ronald Reagan.

I can see that this "Red" [big time socialist color] magician trickster has been busy as hen's teeth spreading false and misleading information about me concerning and pertaining to Col. Sanders and heavily marinated chicken parts. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never condoned or approved of soaking dead naked animals in a solution of meat tenderizers and Coke. Never.

This Red person also falsely claims I am some kind of shill for THE MAN, but the fact is my employer is in fact A WOMAN!!! and a damn nice one I might add. And, not only that, she has recently confided in me that she is especially fond of Conspiracy Men in general and partying guys from Ohio who wear camo underwear, suck on buckeyes, and whittle.

Initially, I took this newcomer Conspiracy Man fella under my wing so to speak, because he was stranded way off out there in deepest darkest Africa with noone to communicate with except the occasional stray warthog or spotted hyena. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had somehow managed to concoct this strange story about Lizard Women invading earth in 2012...a thing I know nothing about, and believe me, Randy, I AM IN THE KNOW about practically everything.

Well, as it turns out, through the grapevine, I find out that the Anarchist Magicians have secretly installed a thought induction processor inside Conspiracy Man's home, and have been bombarding his medulla oblongata with 2012 lizard women conspiracy theories and lies about me and the New World Order!!!! I rest my case. Temporarily.

It takes a pretty desperate individual to go round bad-mouthing such wonderful American dairy products as Cheez-whiz, Cheetoes, and Cheezits. Next thing you know, you'll be coming out against the flag, soccer moms, baseball, and apple pie! Only a diabolical satan-worshipping anarchist magician would do such a horrible thing. I hope there are no children or elderly grandmothers reading this thread.

As I pointed out to Private Randy, I am not working for THE MAN as you call him. I am however currently serving as a consultant for THE WOMAN, whose name I am not at liberty to divulge, especially where and when it concerns those who make their living by deceiving others via delusions and illusions into accepting their dangerous anarchist magical reality worldview.

The New World Order, if indeed there even is such a thing, would be a much more desirable answer to a threatened planet than a NO WORLD GOVERNMENT where the very earth is subjected to roving bands of heavily-armed red-faced magicians and Cheez-whiz haters. Leave Private Randy alone, Magician, and remove that thought injector device from inside his computer. I have video of you entering his tent with a tiny black box and leaving with a pair of his camo briefs. So there!

Oh Wake, Wake, Wake....will you never learn, your deliberate twisting of the truth doesn't work with those of us who have rendered your NWO implants useless through our clever application of science. And anarchism is a worthy goal if it rids us of your bureaucratic slavery and lies. For us freedom-loving folk, having a black-suited NWO pansy dictating what we can eat, drink and enjoy is tantamount to declaring a WORLD WAR. Go ahead Punk, Make My Day. We've got the brains, the guns, the muscle AND the hot chicks going for us. You've got a bunch of pansies in suits and Macbooks. Give it your best shot, we'll be done with you before breakfast.

And as far as your so-called "WOMAN"...THAT'S A MAN, BABY!

HOLY JUMPED UP BALD HEADED FLYIN' JESUS PALAMINA -Gary Busey-
Do you guys stay up nights thinking up this stuff or do you have a computer program that generates it? I mean, there must be some GIANT brains involved. Gotta tell ya guys, it takes me quite a while to just read your posts, and then I have to figure out just what the hell you're talking about. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am not completely uneducated, as I have fifteen years of formal schooling......mostly cause of all those years I was stuck in second grade....
I was a sargent, but I had to be a private first, so no offence taken. Now about this New World Order.... does that have any connection to professional wrestling?

Actually McMahon is a shill for THE MAN, produces modern "Bread and Circuses" spectacles to placate and subdue the masses. No Randy, Conspiracy Man and I are using our amazing span of knowledge to uncover the conspiracy of THE MAN to keep us all down. WakeHolden, on the other hand, probably has some NWO bureaucracy spoon-feeding him that nonsense he posts. No one could be that dense.

Of course you were an ex-private before you were an ex-Sarge. Chain of command and all that other mindless Army NCO bullsh^t. Speaking of which, as a former military man, and I assume you are a man, why isn't the name "RED" not ringing a certain Panamanian bell with you yet, Sergeant Randy?

Am I the only Veteran of interest who is remotely interested and disciplined enough to actually be doing my homework in here? Have you also forgotten how to field strip your Camel butts and clean your rifle in the dark? Damn! What is the world coming to these days? Whatever happened to the concept of a well-trained fighting force? I wonder.

My question to you, Sergeant, is this: When U.S. troops invaded the home of Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega during the liberation of Panama, what was it they found? They found three red-haired Santeria witches from Brazil, and what were they doing at the time they were summarily accosted and detained? They were offering sacrifices to Satan, sacrifices specifically designed to protect Noreiga from being captured by our crack NWO troops.

It didn't work though did it? Of course not. And guess what else...after he was captured by a special unit of highly trained NWO Special Forces and put on the plane in Panama, what did they find? Noriega was wearing RED UNDERWEAR!! Red underwear is a form of MAGIC SATANIC UNDERGARMENTS which are often worn by South and Central American dictators (and anarchist militia magicians from Montana and other such anarchist hording places) to ward off the evil eye.

And where do evil eyes originate in 99.9% of cases? Yes, from Anarchist Magician Associations who hate Labor Unions and the American way of life including Cheetoes, Cheez-whiz, and Cheezits, not to mention those delicious little imitation cheese flavored fish which come in the white easy-open bag.

Ha! You are trying to infer the frantic disenfranchisement of former stooges of THE MAN like Noriega is the same as real honest to goodness AMERICAN magic? That is a pathetically amateur mistake. Even I would've expected more from you. I really think your stubborness in avoiding Coke and natural cheddar cheese in your diet and replacing it with the cheese equivalent of SOYLENT GREEN is affecting your cognitive abilities and judgment.

And if you are going to start with MAGIC UNDERWEAR well I would have to point right back the MORMONS who have well infiltrated Governments across the world and are playing a part in the NEW WORLD ORDER which was actually originated with Joseph Smith. He tried and failed but he knew its time would come. Heck, you clowns nearly elected one President! You've already got some in high leadership positions on both sides of the aisle. I'd keep my eye on Orrin Hatch and Harry Reid. I don't trust either of them as far as I can give them a melvin with their MAGIC UNDERWEAR.

What are you trying to say, man? That I am somehow involved in some type of Magic Underwear Presidential Conspiracy? This LDS red herring won't float, Mr. Red Militia Underwear wearer. Sergeant Randy and the Conspiracy Man will immediately see through this blatant attempt on your part to hijack this thread and redirect the topic onto some wealthy unsuccessful Mormon Presidential contender. Ha!

I see I touched a soft spot. I bet Harry Reid is one of your favorite people. He certainly is a BIG TIME pinko perpetrator of bureaucracy and the NWO. I wouldn't be surprised if you have his picture hanging with honor in your fluorescent lighted, windowless office. Your attempt to demonize me with some fantastical tale of Noriega's magic underwear was probably brought on by your subconscious fascination with Harry Reid and his magic underwear.

Y'all sure do go on. WakeHolden ole boy, do you take anything for that blood pressure? Son, I gotta tell you, you're wound up tighter than a banjo string. You're gonna have a seizure. Have some coke and cheeze for God's sake. I bet it's your implant, probably going critical mass or somethin'. What you need is a good slug of corn squeezins' to git your mind right. That'll take care of that implant...desolve it just like an alka-seltzer tablet.
Say, this here Noriega fella, did he wrestle?..... I can't place him. And the rest of all this is gettin' more complicated than midget roller derby. Y'all need to relax some. Get some beer and fireworks, or some dynamite and go fishin'. Meanwhile, keep a lid on yer Cheeze-Whiz!
Struther Martin said it right........"What we have here ...is a failure..to communicate." I feel like I'm right here.........and Y'all are WAY out there somewhere...

.........and what about the ooglees?

Its alright Randy.

They are in their own little world, but it's ok, they are well known there.

BTW, Make sure your cheddar is white cheddar from VT. Extra Sharp Hunter Lover's Cheddar. Not that bright yellow nasty stuff! And get some real maple syrup for your flapjacks too! The fake stuff is full of serums to help the cause of those who want to take over the planet.

You're already starting to think very clearly! Welcome aboard!

While I agree that Vermont Cheddar is DA BOMB, your prejudice against the orange cheddar pegs you as some Nor-Easter. There is nothing wrong with orange cheddar, it is colored with anato seed which is natural and a helpful color-coding to know what kind of cheese you are eating. I mean you don't want to start taking a bite of Jack when you really want Cheddar. That's a psychological shock to the system.

And I do whole-heartedly endorse your recommendation for real maple syrup. That is one of the things we are stocking up on in the bunker (along with Coke and natural Cheddar Cheese). Although I prefer mine on French Toast.

Peg away! Yellow cheddar just doesn't cut it. It lacks flavor!

Actually no, Harry Reid is not one of my favorite people, but then not many unregistered NWO politicians are, with the exception of President Obama of course, mainly because he is like the number 2 man in the NWO (Acorn Voter Registration Division) and he, like all real true blue state Democrat Americans, loves his Cheetoes, Cheez-whiz, Bud Lite, and always answers "yes ma'm" and "no ma'm" to THE WOMAN who is the head of both the U.N. and the NWO (not to mention the International Cheez-Whiz Association headquartered in Kona, Hawaii).

Being a magician, one who obviously places a lot of emphasis on the excessive consumption of Coke, unpalatable orange-colored cheddar cheese, and magical thinking, hence your apparent fascination with embroidered symbolic magical sacred Mormon knee length underwear, which btw is traditionally linked to the square and compass of freemasonry, with the Compass representing the North Star and the Square symbolizing the square deal the underwear wearer might expect to get from the creator in the underwearless hereafter.

As for ridiculing Sacred Mormon Underwear, which was once described by none other than Joseph Smith as being "...the most sacred of all things in the world, next to their own virtue, next to their own purity of life." I bet you hate Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck as well. Yosemite Sam? Peppi Le Pugh? And Daffy Duck? Ha! I suspected as much.

Oh well, in recent days, religious intolerance and birth certificate authenticity has become the two most important concerns of disenfranchised anarchist Republican magicians and those who await their next...mediocre performance.

I bet Larry Craig is one of your favorite people, and I assume you have a nice autographed 8x10 of his left foot taped with pride to the ceiling of your bedroom right next to the photo of the world's most overrated diminutive magician, Harry Houdini.

Mr. Houdini falsely claimed he was born in Appleton, Wisconsin on April 6, 1874, but the truth is he was born in Budapest, Hungary, or so the so-called original [probably a forgery] birth certificate states that he was instead born on March 24, 1874. The truth is, the illegal alien magician was probably never a real citizen of this country and should have been deported early on instead of being allowed to practice what amounts to demonic gypsy magic for decades.

My blood pressure sings along at a phenomenal 120/68 or therabouts on average 24-7. I seldom get angry about anything anymore, and anyone who assumes I am angry is simply misreading my posts.

It's all in good clean sarcastic hyperbolic fun, Sergeant Randy, all in good fun. Were I really angry, I would simply shoot the PC monitor screen sitting before me with my trusty Springfield .45 Automatic, but of course that would be both costly and the behavior of a deranged man which I am not.

In general, life on the internet is one long dull monotonous drone of nothingness and mediocrity, until...until those special rare individuals come along to break the trance and cause my mind to lurch foward...people like you and Red and Conspiracy Man. I actually enjoy this bullshit, and so should you. Oh, and my office has f^cking windows, ok, Red?

WakeHolden old boy,
I never figured it any other way. Altho I was really looking forward to the party in the bunker. Do you suppose there will be any Foghorn Leghorn cartoons? "Ah say, slow down.. ya goin' about it all wrong son." Now that's actin'. And what a script....Shakesphere could never top that! And maybe some tapes or dvds of Peter Sellers movies. And for us real educated folks, a copy of Animal House. With Cheeze-Whiz, cartoons, fireworks,and beer, and all them wimmen.....oh boy! Somehow, I feel I have known you guys in a previous life........or maybe another planet..... Well, #7 over and out.

Y'all are still really out there.....

We here at the NWO Advanced Cultural Studies Headquarters (and our affiliates at ACORN) understand the need of certain types of violence prone individuals to integrate their dark side into the equation when they feel threatened by the inevitable rise of Socialism, especially when they are also witnessing the beginning of the end of Imperial Capitalism to which they so foolishly cling in utterly futile desperation.

After all, Imperial Capitalism requires the means of production and cheap labor of the entire planet in order to create sufficient wealth for the handful of wealthy mysogynists who control the masses through false religions and other equally repugnant forms of white and black magic disguised as technology. And what are the so-called "media" and "free press" but a modermn form of Shamans and alchemists and black-hearted magicians who for millennia upon millennia have sold out the common man for handfuls of colorful trinkets or a trade blanket or some dead animal's knawed and scraped and berry-dyed skin.

"Let them have guns!" they pronounced from their glass and steel watchtowers, and it was so. "Now come let us give them words with which to form ideas, ideas which we shall create for them, and all the while allowing them to believe it came from within their own heads." And this too was done, and they were pleased with themselves yet once again. So they walked apelike to and fro in the earth and brandished their guns and cried out to one another in darkness, but none heard save a few muttering owls and scattered scurrying packs of mange-infested four-legged rack-ribbed scavengers.

Imported wine was bought in from the marketplace and cheap cheddar cheese was thinly sliced and passed around the conference tables. CEO's smiled, gave themselves million dollar bonuses, and said it was good. Meanwhile molding bags of Cheetoes and Cheez-whiz crackers hung half-suspended from the rusting racks of abandoned vending machines and was not eaten by workers whose jobs had been sent to India, Mexico, and China. Waxy-winged cockroaches knawed through thin translucent wrappers and lay their sepia pillish eggs in dark hollow places and billions were hatched.

Let us also give them the gift of women (aka hot chicks) so that they may know them and be glad. And so it was. Let us now claim their bodies, minds, and souls and possess them, and it was done. And what about their families and friends? Surely they cannot be allowed to keep those. And so that too was taken from them. Next came creativity, art, imagination, sexuality, and alas even their dreams were confiscated in the name of capitalism and a free market economy.

More meetings were held and more bonuses were given. More guns and stale cheddar cheese were handed out. Ammunition trains and trucks unloaded heavy wooden crates in town squares and railroad yards. Stacked as high as a man's head. Meanwhile out in the New Mexico desert strange wet naked creatures began emerging from beneath the still warm sand...and as grey burnished clouds drifted silently away from a tethered lunar orb, naked Lizard Women began to lick themselves dry and sharpen their talons on nearby stones.

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

(chuckle) Don't blame me for the topic of magic underwear, you brought it up, I just finished it. And you know an awful lot about it. And here we were wondering what you studied so late at night I bet you have a pair, don't you.

Who the fuck is Larry Craig? Is he some magic underwear model you know about or something?

Uh, hating cartoon characters would be a little insane. THEY'RE FUCKING CARTOONS! It would take Wake to go there, wouldn't it. I'm telling you brother, the constipation and sexual misalignment you are experiencing will go away with the proper diet of Coke and natural Cheddar Cheese (of course it doesn't have to be orange, though your derision of it is completely irrational). The hallucinations and false memories will stop as well and you'll be able to post a little more coherently, and at least spell Pepe' Le Pew's name right.

As far as Houdini, I am not surprised at your fake derision of him. It is simply cover for the fact that YOUR BUREAUCRACY actually employed him as a spy. You employed a Magician! Fortunately for freedom lovers, this fact is now well documented. He trained the NWO in his highly advanced lockpicking and jailbreaking techniques, consulted with the secret service on counterfeiting to put them on the path to a NWO World Currency. And his tour of magic actually included spying on various nations and reporting back to THE MAN.

http://www.conjuringarts.org/houdini/spy.html

Obviously, you are not able to see any humor in the subject of magic red underwear and the General Manual Noriega connection. Shrugs. Forget it. The socialist pinko birth certificate hording pinko Democrat Obama lovers probably all wear red underwear too.



No. I hate underwear period. Don't wear the things.



Not really important who Craig is. Some perverted congressman.



Apparently the notion of THE MAN actually being A WOMAN is somehow upsetting to you, Red. Get over it, man. I'm not sleeping with THE NWO WOMAN, I just allegedly work for her. It's all pretend in here, remember? I don't know where you get the idea that she's some kind of crossdressing lesbian liberal transvestite. Sticking it to the man makes no sense if THU MAN turns out to actually be uh woman does it? It seemed humorous at the time anyway.



OK then. F^ck Houdini. F^ck Noriega. So he worked for THE MAN. Or so you say. I for one don't give a shit? Everything always has to be about politics. Everybody and everything under the f^cking sun has to be centered around either a liberal Democrat cliche' or a conservative Republican one.

People can't seem to have a little harmless paranoid delusional fun without dragging their political worldview into the conversation. No more of that shit for me. It's either Lizard Women or nothing from here on out from my perspective. I don't see any point in getting angry over some magic underwear bullshit story. Do you? Hell. That's what all those whine and b^tch boards in Town Hall Meeting are for.

You're losing it Wake. I'm telling you grab a Coke quick! You're gonna have a embolism at this rate. This kind of breakdown is the first stage before turning into a hippy.

I mean, what would we do without a NWO infiltrator to expose. You were doing so well. Please don't make them take you away for erasing send in a replacement. He'll probably be no fun whatsoever. Despite your penchant for bureaucracy, you still had a creative spirit and made me laugh with your antics. Shit, look I am already talking about you in the past tense. I promise I won't claim your office is window-less anymore, those basement windows at the top of the wall do count, you're right.

It's THE WOMAN who's doing it to me. Life was so much simpler when it was just me working for THE MAN. Then I joined that MoveOn.org PAC and started soliciting all the rich shills for megabucks, and right after I got involved with THE WOMAN, I switched party affiliation and ended up in a Flag Burning Alliance Home Churched 501(4)non-profit cult with a bunch of crazies.

Then I infiltrated some think tank that kept pushing the "madman theory of the Presidency"....only they all wore camo t-shirts and smoked Cuban cigars and sang Cuban Revolution songs.

Luckily for me, Conspiracy Man showed up at one of their Christian anti-flag burning tea party tax protest concealed carry freedom rallies and clued me in on this upcoming 2012 Lizard Women invasion event. Having already been a pseudo-hippie for a very brief time in the mid-seventies, and not liking it, I became an artist and carved giant wooden whales from illegally downed logs with chainsaws and handmade razor sharp Viking axes. But when I heard the C-Man's tale of wanton Lizardry, I dropped my carving tools and joined up.

..........Do ya 'spose government cheese and Big K Cola would have the necessary healing properties? I'm feeling a little light headed.
In the immortal words of Donnie Baker, "....I-gotta-go."

Glad you brought up the government cheese question, Randy Bob. That reminded me that our very own Conspiracy Man hasn't paid his annual conspiracy taxes yet, nor has he renewed his conspiracy license.

I assume that it was purely an oversight on his part, but we need those funds to...to pay for all those U.N. troops who are protecting civilians (and secretly stockpiling psycho-chemical weapons) around the world, not to mention training millions of illegal Mexican alien mercenaries who...oops! Never mind. Obviously I can't reveal the exact nature of a highly classified NWO order which I am not allowed to discuss in public forum like Fool Moon.

And then there is the little problem with the unmarked black helicopter which he borrowed and used to joy-ride Jennifer Anniston and that Chinese woman around some third world African country. You just can't trust some of these conspiracy guys when it comes to the property of the U.S. Government.

We NWO bureaucrats take our government jobs seriously because, well, just because that's what bureaucrats are supposed to do. After all, I am looking out for THE MAN and THE WOMAN these days, which pisses Red off to no end, but that's ok because he seems to enjoy being pissed at THE MAN. Apparently he doesn't pay enough taxes either. In general, the more taxes people pay, the happier and more contented they become. What's the current magic tax for magicians I wonder...Hmmmmmmm.

Conspiracy Tax..... Ya know, I've been wondering about those wierd looking forms my mailman keeps leaving. It all makes sence now....sort of. But there's no return address, and the faint odor of swamp gas and Hai Karati that comes from the form paper confuses me. One of them had a tatoo in the middle of the page, and seemed to have stubble. Maybe it was just a water mark .....and possibly it was rough recycled paper......but I thought the form of currency for payment was a little strange. How am I supposed to come up with that many used Vega-Matics? And these highly trained Mexican mercenarys, I saw eight of them putting a new roof on the house two doors down last week. I'll bet that roof is some sort of incidious plot to find the location of my Cheeze-Whiz. I fear my neighborhood may be infested. I'll stop now, I must finish digging the mote. #7 out..........

NWO Illegal Mexican Alien Mercs commonly disguise themselves as harmless roofers so as to better infiltrate unsuspecting neighborhoods and set up safe houses which also function as temporary NWO communication and detention processing centers.

What most people don't realize though, Randy, is that there is also a crew of Mex-Mercs working feverishly inside the house being roofed, or that the shingles being nailed to the top of the house are actually solar-powered data-signal transfer panels which are capable of receiving and sending encrypted messages to a NWO satellite hovering overhead in geosynchrous orbit 23,000 miles overhead.

We here in the NWO headquarters really got a charge out of Red's futile and somewhat amusing attempts at reintroducing the gold standard into the world economic system using Australian shepherds as currency couriers. Ha-ha. Nice try, Red.

We simply release large herds of sheep in locations where this kind of outdated unauthorized anarchist militia inspired economic activity is occurring. Sheep trumps the gold standard in a dog's mind every time. Magicians should stick to something they know like sawing bimbos in half and pulling white rabbits out of tin foil hats. Mu ha-ha! You can't "mess with THE MAN" and expect to win, Randy. Oh, and you need to be consuming more Cheez-whiz and less Coke my friend.

Thank you for confirming our intelligence about the Illegal Aliens. If you let Wake talk enough, he'll eventually spill all the beans (pardon my pun!).

Well this once again demonstrates the shallow, uncreative thought processes of the NWO. We only use dogs in urban areas to perform those gold retrieving tasks, they don't call them "Golden Retrievers" for nuttin! We are amused at using up the NWO's resources on sheep herds which simply entertain our canine friends while they are relaxing in the country after missions well accomplished. And I'll have you know my tinfoil hats are quite dashing.

Wake, I realize you have those small windows at the top of the basement walls in your office, but really I think you need more sunshine and vitamin D. I am worried about you. You should take a nice walk in the park where there is a clear shot, I mean view, from the grassy knolls and the tall buildings.

You see Randy, that is a great example of the clear-headed thinking from Coke and natural cheddar cheese, while that foaming at the mouth, half-assed nonsense from Wake is a fine example of Cheezewiz at its most effective levels. I'll let you choose. (something the NWO would NEVER allow - FREE CHOICE!)

EEEEEEH GODS! Things are starting to become clearer! Mexican Mercs on the roof, solar powered shingles, gynosomething orbits, and now Ausie sheep herders. Shazam! It's worse than I thought! Much worse! Now I've started recieving email notifications from the United Kingdom that I am the lottery winner of 500,000 pounds British Sterling, from some soldier in Irac that he's found a chest full of currency, and wants me to have half if I'll send him my blood type and soc. sec. number, and an invitation for a weekend getaway at a home for future unwed mothers, under the boardwalk, in Atlantic City, Yugoslavia.............. I thought these were just scams to get money from me, when in reality, somehow the British, and our own armed forces involved, and plotting to get me to impregnate Yugoslavian school girls. This is really over the top. And to think, I just sold all my aluminum foil.....This is all part of their incidious plan to drain me of my bodily fluids. Good thing I started having speaks with you guys. I might have been found, a dry, and deteriorating shell, leaning against a piling outside a brothel in Yugoslavia......I gotta get some cheese...........#7 out.

Cheddar cheese and coke always gives me gas. How can I protect adequately myself from these New World Order interlopers if I can't eat cheese or drink cokes? And what's so bad about paper money? Gold is heavy and takes up too much storage space, and besides, how do we know it's really gold? Couldn't the NWO bankers and their Fed. Reserve lackeys be using lead that's been spray painted with cheap gold paint from Walmart?

Are you talking about Sgt. Chuck White Fitte from the 1st Armored Div. or Capt. David Walker from that same unit? Or is it from Sgt. John Clark from the 3rd Infantry Div. or Col. William Neatson from an American base in Germany? All of whom have stumbled onto huge amounts of cash which once belonged to Saddam Hussein, and now they want to share their ill-gotten war booty with someone like you.

Don't send them any money or your bank account info. or Social Security numbers, Randy, as these are anti-NWO anarchists and extremists posing as American soldiers in Iraq. They're running what amounts to Advance Free Frauds aka Nigerian 419's, which according the the Secret Service (who are protecting your money courtesy of THE MAN) costs American citizens and businesses hundreds of millions of dollars every year.

These scammers need your hard-earned money to fund their anti-NWO operations. Who do you think pays for all those Golden Retreivers Red was bragging about? 419 victims that's who. And where do they get money for tons of all natural cheddar cheese (which requires constant refrigeration) and ice cold Coke (more fridges)..it comes from the bank acounts of scammed citizens.

Did the e-mails and letters you got have some kind of official looking logo or seal or stamp at the top of the page? Was it a picture of a big dumb-looking sheep dog or was it a lollipop (sucker) or some guy wearing a tin foil hat that looked like Moe from The Three Stooges? THE MAN-hating militias and the gun-hugger fear-mongering anarchists are behind this, Randy. Be careful, very careful. You can trust me to put in a good word for you with THE MAN. Oh, and later on today a carload of illegals will drop by and talk with you about a new roof.

Not to worry Wake, I told them not to send the money, I said I'd pick it up in person on 12/19/10 while enroute to a place of absolutely no interest or consequence to them. In my reply to their emails I offered them up to $4500 U.S. currency (wink,wink) in a rebate for trading in each of their rusty pickup trucks with machine gun mounts in tact, and as a special incentive, for the first 100 customers only, my ex wifes recipe for "Christmas turkey stuffed with goat cheeze and pickled pork fat a la mode." There's not enough Pepto in the Middle East to counter act a serving of that crap. I divorced her 28 years ago and I still have occasional flashbacks. That womans "cooking" could quite possibly have the boys home by Labor Day. I'm surprised that recipe isn't mentioned in the rules of engagement, or Geneva Convention. Of course a method of delivery would have to be worked out. Ha! Talk about your "Dirty Bombs......" Seriously.....................
Only problem is, when the war is finally over, our leaders will open their arms and invite our former enemies to come here bringing all their cousins, uncles, nephews, etc. and buy gas stations, and convenience stores which they will not be taxed on, and give them assistance for housing, medical, and whatever else we can give away at the expence of the hard working American tax payer, while the returning vets do without. (deep breath) How do I know? History repeating itself....again!
Time for me to have a Coke and some Cheddar

Uh, Conspiracy Man, I think we have an issue here. The main reason for Coke and natural cheddar cheese disturbing the digestive track is that the digestive track in question is not human. I suggest you bring the testing kit to see if this is a full-blown alien or an alien/human hybrid created from those unholy abduction experiments endorsed by the NWO. We may have to do a vivisection, so bring a box of plastic sheeting and rubber tubing.

Another thing I wanted to bring up was the Government and the hippies incessantly pushing for electric cars. I think the reason is obvious. They want to up the current to those implants and the easiest way to do that is to place you within an electrical generator for an hour or so a day. The implants receive the extra juice through the principle of induction and your mind is turned to head cheese pudding at an even faster rate. I don't know about you, but give me some good ol' fashioned combustion engine, powered by explosions contained within solid metal. YEAH! It gives me chills it is so good. One of our star members, Jesse James just made a hydrogen combustion engine that broke the land speed record for ZERO emissions - take that you fuel cell hippies! That's the proper way to use Hydrogen - explosions! I'd like to see you go 200 MPH in a hybrid, suckers!

Why, Randy, you should apologize to your dear sweet lovely ex-wife for making such insensitive comments about her wonderful cooking. Turkey stuffed with goat cheese and pickled pig fat has been a tradition here at our house for decades.

It started in the old country many many years ago, but because we were poor peasant farmers and offal gatherers, we used ducks instead of turkeys and stuffed 'em with rancid cheddar cheese instead of expensive rare goat udder drippings. Obviously, your ex is from my country, which means she can't be as bad as you are claiming. You and my ex husband should get together sometime. Yaw'll sure think alike a lot.

In order for the Faraday Cage effect to work on a tin foil hat, the cage must completely enclose the wearer. If not, the edges of the hat will act as an antennae, broadcasting the wearer's thoughts to the entire world. NWO scientists, working in conjunction with U.S. Government researchers have determined that tin foil hats offer little or no protection from harmful brain wave radiation.

I'll apologize to my "dear sweet lovely" ex-wife, on the day that monkeys fly out my butt. Cooking was the least of her short commings, which I won't go into on the internet. I don't know you, or your ex. You seem to have a sence of humor, that's good. My sence of humor has almost returned after being divorced from her for 28, thats TWENTY-EIGHT, short years. If my thinking is not up to your standerds.....deal with it, or not!
I don't mean to be unkind, but your comment about my "thinking", is out of line. I don't judge you, or your ex. At least I do not sign my posts "Anonymous". In the future,if you wish to address me by my common name, please be good enough to allow me to know with whom I have the pleasure of communicating.
Have some Coke and Cheddar, and a nice day.

It's obvious that these anonymous interlopers are in cahoots with the anarchists and militias who are trying to take over the country and overthrow the democratically elected government of the United States of America. What kind of totalitarian country would it be if a man couldn't say bad things about his ex-wife?

Did your ex have a bunch of cats and poodle dogs that scratched up the furniture and ran up exhorbitant vet bills for you to pay? Mine did. Then she ran off with an anarchist and took the kids with her. After a few weeks they (the kids) got a bellyfull of anarchist militia crazy gun and conspiracy crap and moved back in with me. Lucky or what?

ALERT!

Please refrain from discussing anything with so-called Scientology volunteers on the street corners and in fairs. After research we have ascertained that their primary objective, aside from THE MAN'S agenda of enslaving you and ripping off your cash, is to hook you up to a HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE electrical device called an "E-Meter", unknown by ANY respectable medical establishment, in order to determine your level of "clearness". After donating a few hundred thousand dollars they may actually try and tell you the definition to "clear" which is nothing but a poorly contrived piece of science fiction, if it even deserves that moniker at all as it insults poorly contrived science fiction, but I digress. In actuality, this device is designed to run electrical current into implants, supercharging their power, and taking control of your mind. Have you seen people that come out of those scientology buildings, let alone tried to talk to them? Alien mind control I tell you. Just take Tom Cruise who used to be a nice normal kid until those so-called Scientologists (really the MEN IN BLACK) got a hold of him and now he goes on TV ranting incoherently about evil psychiatric drugs. Incidentally the same drugs proven to effectively counter severe effects of the implants. Coincidence?

I THINK NOT!!

Actually the ex got VERY religeous, almost HOLY. Non denominational of course, and became a cross toting, bible thumping, rip snorting, anti everything that I was, Christian. Sex was for producing offspring, and we already had two.... Rock and roll was of the devil. Cooking... well, I've already commented on that and been chastized for it. Not to mention I was a mechanic, and that was somehow now below her station in life. Perhaps I would have insisted upon a strict diet of Coke and Cheese, if I'd known about their healing properties thirty five years ago. Several years after the divorce, I was able to rescue my son. When he turned twelve, he was able to choose to live with me,and he has turned out to be quite a lad. My daughter however....... well.....I believe a colonic and twenty mile hike would do her a world of good. Thankfully, I did find the most hatefull woman in the area, married her, and life's been wonderful for twenty seven years. I don't think this one's an alien.....maybe an anarchist tho. Actually, she's a Methodist.

No Randy, don't believe that Wake character. The hateful people are not the Anarchists are freedom loving people. They are the NWO who want to enslave mankind and rip off their money. Being she is Methodist, well there ya go. NWO all the way.

My gut feeling is that you are relatively safe with this new wife. Usually Methodists are not anarchists. Methodist churches allow women to be pastors, something an anarchist would never permit. Only anarchist males are allowed to preach, take up collection, have relations with handmaidens and under-aged virgins, make fertilizer truck bombs, own more than six bazookas, and floss their teeth with piano wire which is mainly why they prefer porcelain fillings.

It just so happens that my wife is also a Methodist. She spends a lot of time doing good, stuff like feeding homeless people and supporting orphanages in places like China. And she's always going to meetings with other Methodist women where they form Reiki circles and stand around rubbing each other's feet. Spooky stuff.

I truly to feel safe with my "new" bride of twenty-seven years. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have watching my back in a dark bar parking lot at three in the morning. She carries a Buck knife in her purse, and if you see it, you need to call for the EMT's cause you already need stitches. Hateful woman that never hesitates. I love her to death. I wouldn't trade her for a new pickup truck and a winning super lotto ticket.

I would trade ANY Methodist for that.

ALERT!!

Operatives have just uncovered yet another web of NWO deceit and treachery. You know those Gideon Bibles that are mysteriously found in every hotel room in every city across the nation? Obviously no private organization would have the resources or the clout to force this upon the public. Upon careful examination of a Gideon Bible we have discovered that it is a wireless signal enhancer. All of these Gideon Bibles, numbering in the millions, create a network across the nation to enhance control of implants in humans. If you've ever been in a hotel room and were unable to sleep, you know the reason. You are in close proximity to a radio broadcast device! The electromagnetism alone would disturb sleep. We recommend filling the hotel tub with water and drowning the evil book. Then toss it in the trash later. If asked, just tell them you fell asleep in the tub reading the Bible. They will think you are a goddamn saint! But remember, THE MAN is a tricky bastard and surely has numerous redundant systems so we will continue our tireless, noble research on your behalf.

On a related note, do not have "ID Chips" implanted in your pets. They are really surveillance devices that turn man's best friend into THE MAN's Best Spy. You have been warned and advised.

Be Free My Friends and STICK IT TO THE MAN!!