Okay, perhaps I'm guilty of false advertising. I can't guarantee humor. I can only say that what follows is a work of fiction, a product of my imagination, and NOT any dialogue or conversation that actually took place anywhere, ever.

With that disclaimer, I offer the following true news item, and what the participants in the discussion MIGHT have said, had there actually been such a discussion, which there wasn't.

"WASHINGTON - Alarmed by a year of recalls targeting millions of tainted toys, the House voted overwhelming Wednesday to ban lead and other dangerous chemicals from items such as jewelry and rubber ducks that could end up in kids’ mouths."

Lawmage: Wait a minute. Now the government is interfering in OUR CHILDREN's lives? When are they going to stop their meddling in personal decisions?

Dax: Wait, isn't this a good thing? I mean they're trying to keep poisons out of the mouths of children?

Ray: There you go again Dax, whining and pissing your pants about the government this and the government that. Why don't you just chill, you stupid liberal dork?

Dax: Hey, I'm not stupid.

Lawmage: If I want to keep my children safe, I am perfectly capable of doing so. I don't need the government telling me what toys I can and can't buy for my children, or what lead based jewelry I can or can't buy for my wife, and I don't want anyone interfering with the way companies run their business. The cost of these transitions to safer paint and chemicals will cost the Chinese manufacturers millions of dollars, and who do you think is going to pay for that? No thanks, just put those toys in a bin marked "dangerous" and let me make my own decisions. You, Dax, with your pansy liberal ideas probably favor the government enforcing sanitation rules in hospitals too!

Dax: So you're suggesting it's a cost issue and a slippery slope on government interference?

Lawmage: And individual freedom.

Ray: So Dax, you just said that Bush is an asshole and our administration sucks and the government should just tell everyone what to do, because we're all helpless little babies who can't think for ourselves, have I got it right?

Dax: You got it right the same way you always get it right.

Ray: Ha! My point.

Dax: I'm saying that sometimes government has to step in, how can we possibly know if paint on those toys is dangerous? Children will be harmed.

Lawmage: Children are harmed every day by swings, by falling down, by being beaten up, by traffic accidents, by falling out of trees, by swimming pool accidents, by abusive parents, by lightning, by disease, do you want the government to outlaw disease, Dax?

Dax: If they could, yes.

Ray: Only you, Dax, would insist that the government station people at every possible site where a child could be hurt. Stop frothing and whining and drooling and jumping up and down.

(The conversation goes on for quite some time, but we have long since lost interest, so the light slowly fades and the curtain falls.)

Heh, heh, heh! Pretty good, Dax.

. o O (Oh look! There's some soap on the floor)

LMAO! WTG Dax....too funny!

*snort*

I think you have nailed those three characters (including the author) fairly well. Nice job!!

No reason for you not to continue... I don't find it lacking interest at all.

How sadly true your script is, Dax. I don't think it'll change anything, but it did give me a good laugh.