Absolutely not, kelly. It sounds like you bust your butt to meet the needs of your moms and it can only be expected that you're going to get frustrated. What really sucks is that your siblings aren't pulling their weight. I don't know how old your mom is, but it's stories like this that make me dread the day my parents get old. I'm the oldest of three boys and , at 31, am lucky that my mom had me when she was 22. I hopefully don't have to deal with what you're dealing with for quite some time yet

Not sure what I'm trying to say other than to offer some moral support and let you know it sounds like you're doing a good job.

Thanks Stone.

My mother is 63 years old, she had me when she was 32 and I too am 31 years old.

At 63, your mother isn't old unless she wants to be. I'm being serious, Kellysweet--63 isn't old. The normal retirement age is 65, for goodness sake! Old age is 75-85-95!

If you treat her as if she were old, she'll age even faster.

Where is your father? Does he live at home or is he in hospice? How old is he? Are his needs being met?

Now I'll be brutal, but I only mean to help in an unqualified way.

Is it possible that you still feel guilt about your rape? Is it possible that, because your mother blamed you for the rape, you are now trying to make up for 'not listening to your mother?' at the time?

You're the one, Sweetpea. It all centers on you.

No no, my mother still doesn't know about it. I've never told her and my guilt for not going to her (we usually share everything) is about me. On one hand I regret not telling her, on the other I don't because I have a distorted picture in my head of what would have went down had I done so.

My mother is a great woman, and she still is trying. She always says she doesn't want to get old, she doesn't want anyone to have to take care of her, which is wonderful. She is still full of life. However when she does need something, she makes that something into a full day of somethings, or even days of somethings.

My parents are still together, he's 4 years older then her and his health isn't great either. He has Angina, Diabetes, Liver problems, and only 40% of one lung left and is more full of life then my mother. And he is in good spirits.

He also calls on me but I don't feel used by him, (Maybe because I'm daddy's little girl). He only fathered an older brother (from his first marriage) and myself. So my other 4 siblings are not his even though since they've (my parents) been together so long its like they are.

So he only calls on me and he doesn't ask for a full day of somethings although lately he's also been asking for more help then normal.

I wish there was a magic genie I could rub, to make them healthier (because they are really great people, and parents) but I can't. Its just I'm so exhausted.

You give a mixed picture of your parents, Kells. If you need a break, take a break! Just say 'No' the way your siblings have.

Why beat yourself up? We're only human, and we as humans get tired, even when it comes to those we love.

A lot of times we give until we run on empty and we still try to give (Love,Time, and Assistance), but as I said we're only human and we all get tired, sometimes things happen just when we give out, and that's seems to had happened to you.

Just do your best, and don't put the whole world on your shoulder, that's something none of us will ever be able to carry on our backs.

Kelly, you mentioned somewhere, you don't mind helping your Mom, but sometimes those help times extend into days.. of helping. Perhaps you need to establish a boundary between you and your Mother. Don't ask me how to do this, as I have the same problem. I have a difficult time establishing boundaries between myself and another person. I suffer from this and not so kind people have taken advantage of me.

I would start by giving your mother clear guidelines. Then stick to this plan. She may complain and be unhappy, but if this makes you feel guilty, then she will (unconsciously) take advantage of you. Ask her if this amount of time for an event will be enough_____ (fill in the blank). By asking her to participate, she will feel in control and part of the plan. Once she has given you the time needed, be firm with her and tell her OK. Once the event and time is completed and she begs for more, firmly tell her you have other commitments that you have scheduled . This will be bad medicine for her to swallow, but she will get the drift. What is important is to include her input into the scheduling process. She will feel she is in some control.

She also seems like she is missing knowing her ownself. What are her interests? If she is interested in gardening, schedule a date at a garden club with her. Once she knows some of the other women, she will begin attending herself, calling you less....

Just a few ideas.

How about when asked to do 'just one more thing' you reply, "I can't right now, I have a date with my lover at a motel. I'll see about it next time I'm over." Then leave. Repeat when needed. (Not entirely tongue-in-cheek.)