Hello!
My real name is Robin. I live in Norway, right outside the main capital, Oslo, with my cat Migo and Kalle.
Why do I call myself Cat-Man? I'll get to that later in this post.

First off, I want to say that when I was a young boy (I'm 17 now, so I'm still young, but you know what I mean) I got a message. From who? I'd like to believe that it was God who showed himself telling me this.
When I say god, I don't think of him as a guy sitting in his throne in the sky. I think of god as "the universe". Nothing special about it, but it's "alive" to a certain extent.
Anyways, the message came to me when I was biking towards my friends house quite late at night.
A big blue light came flowing out from the woods. When it hit me, I was knocked of my bike. The light covered the entire area. I picked up my bike and biked as fast as I could away. I was scared. But after this, I've felt that I've got an assignment. When that blue light hit me, I got a message telling me that I'm important to the plan of the universe.

I don't have many people that believes me on this, but I've got one:
My cat, Migo. I used to have my other cat too, Kalle, but he died. I later got a new cat, which I believe to have the same sole as Kalle, so he got the name too.
But anyways, I know you guys are more or less scared of cats. I know they can be scary, but let me tell you this: They're not harmful.
Sure, I can believe that some of them is acting like dolls for the aliens, but really, there are some that aren't.

This is where "Cat-Man" comes into the story.
See, I get a very unusual connection to cats. I mean, spiritual connection.
I swear, Migo isn't acting like a camera for the aliens. I know this, cause I can connect to him like no one else can. same goes for alot of cats... I can connect to almost any cat. I can instantly make them listen to me, even if I've never met them before.
But there are some, that won't allow me to connect to them.
When I connect to a cat, I get their feelings, thoughts and everything else... even visible things, like gender. There's a few cats that don't let me connect like this.
Just like when you try to connect a web cam to your computer, but when it doesn't have the drivers, it won't work.
I get this, when I try to connect with the "new" Kalle.

He's almost never home, and when he is, all he does is eat, then he rushes back out. Migo, on the other side, is home at almost all times, protecting me from something I don't know yet.
He's my protection. And what I find particularly scary, is that Migo and Kalle always fight. Or, not always, but Migo and Kalle both gets very uncomfortable being around each other.
I feel that Migo's trying to protect me from him. I'm not scared of Kalle. Just worried. I don't want him to be in touch with my possible enemy. Is there a way I can stop this, maybe?

Anyways, I've learned a lot from cats. Thins that I never thought was humanly possible.
By learning from certain cats, I'm now able to lift a car over my head. Seriously, I can do that. I can also jump rather long distances.
Apart from that, I'm also very acrobatic and I fight well.
How?
Well, that will remain a secret between me and the cats.

After reading some topics on your forum, I believe I might be the Savior.

As far as I can tell, I've never met any alien face to face. I've seen things that might be something, but I can't be sure.
If this is my mission, to save the planet from alien scum, I will accept it. But I'll need some help doing it.

I need to know how these things work. What are they? Are they skilled in fighting? Do they use weapons? And so on.
I'll also need to have people on my side, when the time comes.

See, I've also heard that they're coming. In great numbers.
To invade us! Why? Because we aren't doing what they want.
This will sound silly, but I know that we where placed here by them a long time ago... we where cloned from them, and placed here to do tasks for them, like digging gold, and preparing the planet for them, so they could live here. We, as you can see, didn't do as we where told, and made it on our own.
They're coming back soon. To take back "their" planet.
Where, or from who, did I hear this? Cats.
The cats really know more than you know. If there's anyone that can really help us on this, it's them.

They've also told me that there are more alien races out there, bent on helping races in need. Like us.
They have not only tried to contact out government, but also our animals, that are capable of receiving mind waves. Like cats.

Now, I think we might be able to get help from them. I've been told that they're ready to help us, once we ask for it.
I don't know if it was them who made that light years ago, making me realize my destiny.
I promise you that I'll do my very best to stop these foul and greedy beasts from destroying us. It might get messy, but we HAVE to stop them.

But now, I'll need help.
I'll need information on these aliens. All the info you can get.
Does anyone have pictures?
Cause, I do... maybe.
See, some time ago, I suddenly got the urge to draw aliens.
I asked Migo what he'd think they looks like. He told me that I have the ability of looking into the future. Or, kind of. He told me just to let my hand draw, and not my eyes. And I did. And what I got, was remarkable. Maybe this is it?
I have no idea. It COULD just be something I drawed... but I want to get this confirmed: If you've seen one of them, did it look somewhat like this:









Also... I've noticed one thing. I don't know if you know of it, but in Norway, we have these bugs that sticks onto animals and humans, drinking blood for a longer period of time. They grow bigger and bigger over time... they can sit on a cat for weeks, even. Waht do you call them?
Anyways, I've noticed that Kalle, after being out, he ALWAYS has one of em on... while Migo, on the other hand, NEVER has any... last night, I saw one TRYING to crawl between his hairs and into his skin, but it was shunned. Like there was some kind of shield protecting the cat. He just coudn't bite. He soon gave up and I stepped on it. I've never seen this happen before.

Anyways, my main thing is:
I may be your hero. Me, and my cat, Migo.
I will need help, but together we will defeat this darkness threatening us. We will win eventually.

And here's a picture of Migo... your Saviour:



And no, he wasn't hiding. Believe it or not, me and him was playing hide and seek... so in one way, he was hiding. But not as in "Ima gonna spy on ye all humanz!"

thank you for reading!
I hope to get some help and feedback on this!

Robin and Migo.

PS: Any questions? To me OR Migo? Or maybe Kalle? I CAN talk to him, but he usually ignores me, or runs off when I try to contact him.
Feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer! I'm sure Migo will to.
Thanks!

Tell Migo and Kalle, Pywakit says MEOWWWW!

Thanks to the efforts of my organization PAPP, there are no longer any benign humanoid aliens threatening earth.

However your blue light experience and association with God makes me think you might be interested in the Church of Enlightened Assumption.

Although I have not yet completed my investigation of the Church, I feel at this point it is safe to say they have, if I may state it in such explicit terms, found the key to the universe.

While I am not permitted to give the URL here, I'm sure a quick search for the Church on any search engine will find it for you.

May you and your feline familiars have peace, joy and bliss.

Hey Robin.

That sounds really crazy! However, you may have given me a movie idea. I'll see what I can develop and get back to you. Naturally, you would share in the creative money if anything came of the project.

All the best,

Mel

Hey! Thanks for the replies!
Now, Hyman, I can understand that. I mean, who am I to say that there aren't any aliens left on our planet at the moment?
All I know, I hear from my feline friends. And they don't lie.. but a little too often, they keep their mouth shut.
It's very rare that I discuss these kind of things with Migo, cause I usually hear stuff about aliens from other cats, but today I've been talking to him about this.

What I heard, was that there are some creatures that are readying themselves for an invasion right now. Though, they've been doing that or the last few years, they are almost ready.
I don't know if these are the same as the ones you are talking about, but I do know that I've never had a cat lying to me. It has kept the truth away from me at times, but they've NEVER lied. EVER.
So read this as a warning: They are coming.

I feel that the cats really have importance in our future.
I've also heard rumors of a secret society of cats. And, hey, maybe we, the humans, aren't really the rulers of Earth? Have you ever concidered this? That the cats may be the smarter one?
They SURE know a lot more than we do at the moment.

Now, Mel Gibson, you must understand, I'm having some hard time believing that you are, infact, the real Mel.
But if you are... I wouldn't need any money... but I'd like to be a part of making the movie... I mean, I have ALOT of ideas...
Infact, I have one idea, which would absoloutley rock.

It is about Cat-Man, but not about me. Though, it's based off my discoveries, if you could call it that.
Though, it's more of a super-hero movie than anything else... I could give you some character backrounds if you want...
And even though I'm having slight problems believing that you are infact Mel Gibson, that doesen't say it isn't true. I just need some kind of proof... you know, like a short video clip with you (Mel Gibson, obviously) confirming this by saying something like "hello Robin, see? I really am Mel Gibson!"
xD

I'd really like to discuss this over with you though... the movie, I mean. I'm a guy with ALOT of fantasy.
So... yeah, why don't you contact me through PM's or something?

-Robin

My husband's cat, Pywakit is truly his familiar, mine is my adorable feral named Theophile (after Steinlein the belle epoque artists). Cats choose people...people do not choose cats. If you find one that likes you, keep near and dear to you!

Hello, Cat Man,

I am replying publicly to your private message, as it said essentially the same thing that your public message does.

I'm afraid I rather overstepped my privileges in my last post. I don't come to Fool Moon very often, but when I do, I come to relax and enjoy the Paranoia Files and some other topics which I read but do not respond to.

When I first arrived here some time ago, I promised the site owners that I would not do business of any kind here, nor promote their site or my films, nor do any celebrity chats or anything like that. I told them I wanted to be here as myself in a relaxed and non-professional way. They agreed, and I've been enjoying FM ever since.

I regret that my previous post mentioning a movie idea went beyond the boundaries I had set up here with Helice and Dax. I must apoligize if I have given you any false hope, or encouraged you that a film might be made from a specific idea.

Approximately one percent of all ideas submitted for movies get past the wastebasket stage. Of those that survive, approximately .7 percent are sent to studios or producers for approval. Of those, approximately ten percent are greenlighted for screenplay. Of the screenplays submitted, another ten percent make it to first day of shooting.

I hope you are not offended by the realities of the motion picture industry, and I do not mean to discourage you from submitting any ideas you may have to the proper agencies, a good idea is a good idea. I just hope you will understand that nothing that happens on this site will be considered professional, and I cannot accept any ideas except via my business office through valid, licensed theatrical and film agencies.

All the best,

Mel

Hello Robin in Norway. I was just reading over your post while I was lying inside the clinic's imported state-of-the-art catscanner getting my brain circuitry magnetically realigned and correctly polarized...the direct result of recently coming in close physical contact with a Chupacabra while consulting with my long time friend and employee, Alejandro in Chiapas, Mexico.

This particular model catscanner has a large rotating titanium plated cylindrical device in which my head is securely positioned, and according to the technician, there are no less than 12 adult purring cats inside this cylinder, and they have been trained to both purr and march (and run when stimulated by a very mild electric shock) round and round inside on what appears to be a raised teflon-coated imitation cat litter jogging track.

As you may or may not know, when cats purr they generate some type of biologically energy or force field which when applied to humans in small doses actually cures certain mental states and or neurological disorders. But not just any cat combination will do. It has to be an even 6 males and 6 female adult cats, and all the females must be in estrus. Under normal conditions, one might expect that many tomcats in close proximity to six female cats would produce some rather undesirable cat noises not to mention a huge amount of cat testosterone, and no doubt it does, but thanks to those wonderful German engineers who sound-proofed and odor-proofed this thing, I have thus far neither heard nor smelled anything noxious.

Already my spelling has greatly improved, and I am now able to correctly tell Doctor Miguel who the current president of the U.S. AND Mexico is. As for your cat being some type of religious figure, I'm afraid I cannot accept that claim. You see, cats are always trying to convince people they are something special when in reality they are just another self-centered pet. Surely you can see thru this cat's ruse. He's using you! And look what it's got him. His picture on the internet among other things no doubt. Cats cannot be trusted. They must be taught to obey their masters and not the other way round. Stand up for yourself, man, and stop being manipulated by this narcissistic furry fiend.

Down through history Cats have been known to use gaudy blue lights to get what they want from their masters. They did it with the ancient Egyptians and look what it got them...they were pampered by the Pharoahs and then worshipped. How disgusting is that? Worshipping a deity that covers his poop with sand and barfs up hairballs? No way, Jose'. Look under your cat's bedding sometimes and see if he isn't hiding a blue light bulb or a piece of blue tinted glass. Ha!



Cats are not acting like dolls for the aliens, they ARE aliens!



Cats don't have souls or spirits, Robin, but they can be possessed by evil demonic entities which have been wandering the earth for millions of years inhabiting one life form after another, including cats and humans! Cats in turn can carry these demonic spirit beings inside their bodies, and they can pass them on to humans ususally when the victim is asleep.

The cat hops up onto the bed and curls up next to the person and begins purring, and over the space of a few minutes the entity migrates from the cat into the person. The old tale about a cat having 9 lives came from ancient Sumerian legends about Babylonian cats which had 9 demons of Baal living inside them. Cat owners are the ones who spread the lie about cats being living cameras for aliens. Trust me. Do you really want to live around an animal that can change your sexual orientation anytime it feels like it?

Robin...the two black spots over Migo's eyes? They are an exact replica of the ancient Sumerian cuniform letters for the demonic entity known as Baal. Obviously, the demon Baal has been reincarnated as a cat in a popular city in Norway and is currently living inside your house. You are in grave danger, my friend.

Trust me. I know evil demonic entities when I see, hear, and smell one, and this cat is definitely one such entity. By posting it's image online, you have participated in heathen idolatry, which is a serious offense in any culture, especially the one here in the USA. You need an exorcist, Robin, and you need to move away from those cats and free yourself from their influence and demonic power. Hearing cat voices is the first sign of possession. Next they start giving you instructions on how to take over the country and then they might ask you to do other horrible cat things. Get out while you still can.