My fellow Americans:

As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your
mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative
achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan
dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while
I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal
behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of
claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is
a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of
me . There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though
JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped
Martin Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom
he was having an extra marital affair and who was pregnant with his
child. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally
and figuratively.

And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of
meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the
White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or
achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me
causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist
guilt.

I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything
because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have
meaning, then that means you have to think about them.

Americans are tired of thinking.It's time to shut down the brain, and
open up the heart.So when you go to vote in the elections, remember
don't think, just do. And do it for me.

Thank You.
Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. For supreme world leader campaign
"The Next World Disorder President"

You're an excellent writer, Matt. How long did it take you to come up with that?

I was just wondering if you started writing it all the Kennedy stuff before Senator Kennedy started dying of his brain tumor, because death isn't all that funny, and I was thinking that if you started writing this *after* Senator Kennedy was diagnosed with his cancerous brain tumor you probably would have not chosen to stress the Kennedy parts as much as you did. But that's how it is with you creative types; you gotta do what you gotta do.

I'm always in awe of you writers. How do you think of these things?

Please don't blame Matt. Blame any one of the dozen neocon websites he lifted it from

Remind him of our copyright policy, and don't sweat the Kennedy thing too much, Neocons will always laugh and mock the death of a liberal. That's part of what they do.

And Matt, please cite some evidence that Mary Jo Kopechne was pregnant. Any objective source will do. An autopsy report, a doctors visit, her purchase of baby booties, something she told a close friend or member of her family, anything. Otherwise, you've accused Senator Kennedy of murder. You have to be prepared to back that up or appear to be even more viciously partisan than heretofore suspected.

So may times I've pointed out the conscienless vitriol of right wing lies, and this is a perfect example of it. When you get your news off internet blogs, you get shit. Which is pretty much the neocon platform.

I find it ironic that he mentions his pastors connections when the Bush families connections are far more brow raising.

If there was one defining moment in Obama's campaign, it was probably the first time Oprah gave her support to Obama. She helped him fill a stadium fuller than a world series... It has been up hill ever since.

Having a tumor does not exempt someone from murder and the only rational motive for this murder is an unwanted pregnancy. If this Kennedy, with his record which I can post if you like, supports Obama, then its safe to assume Obama is as bad or worse to allow such endorsement.

And here we take a step into the surreal.

Matt, I assume, is talking about the DUI accident Kennedy got into. At most it may have ended up as an involuntary manslaughter type thing.

I'm rather interested on how he came to the conclusion that it's a murder case.

Where does this "motive of murder" come in?

Of course it's the only rational motive! Just because it didn't show on the autopsy doesn't mean it wasn't so! You and I know the real score.

And I really like your style. There's no reason not to kick a man when he's down. If he murdered a girl for a pregnancy that wasn't revealed in her autopsy, I think it's fine to rag him about it while he dies from brain cancer. You are doing God's work!

Where can I join up with the "GOD HATES FAGS!" group that pickets funerals...? I think they do God's work too, and I figured you could tell me where they meet.

Why not? Because Caroline showed class? Here in Cali, she spoke well and was "the Kennedy" that sold Obama...

You need to go to Kansas to join that club. Or you may be able to join the Minnesota chapter. You certainly have to go out west as I don't think they maintain a New England chapter.

I don't think anyone should go light on ol' Ted just because he has cancer. He's very worthy of criticism, even now. That said, I'd be willing to put a large sum of money that Matt couldn't come up with any rationale to his criticism of ol' Ted. The right wing portion of this country says he's a crazy liberal and I'd bet the goods in my apartment that the majority of these people have no clue as to why they hate the guy, other than the fact that people like Rush Limbaugh tell them that they should hate the him.

Shit, I'd give a $20 to Matt if he could name one issue that Ted has promoted that he disagrees with. Without resorting to Google or the World Net Daily.