If you've seen the movie, "Mexican Werewolf" you are familiar with the strange creatures which have been terrorizing latino countries for decades. These creatures called Chupacabras or "Chupas" for short, are 3-4 feet tall reptilians with leathery green or greyish skin and with sharp spines or quills growing out of their backs. Witnesses claim Chupas can hop like a kangaroo, and have irridescent red eyes which glow at night. They usually do not have a tail, but do have a foked reptilian tongue similar to a snake.

Chupas were first spotted in Puerto Rico, and were said to have been responsible for the deaths of dozens of goats and sheep. The animals were found with all their blood drained and with round teethlike or fang marks near the heart area. One attack in Caguas, P.R. was especially scary as the creature entered a little girl's bedroom and assaulted her favorite teddy bear. Fortunately, the child was not home that night.

A large Chupa was spotted near Perth, Australia close to the Yanchep National Park, and residents of Hesperia, California have reported an increase in Chupacabra activity in their area. Mexican farmers have even formed armed Chupacabra vigilante groups to patrol their farms and watch over livestock late at night. One such group surprised a Chupa in the process of sucking a goat's blood and attacked it with machetes and shotguns, but the wounded Chupa escaped leaving behind four dead goats and 17 dead chickens.

Chupacabras are real. When I was living in a small village in Mexico back in the 70's when they attacked goats and sheep at night all the time. Farmers were too afraid to do anything like go to the Rurales (Mexican Fed. Police) because generally the Rurales were feared more than the Chupacabras. One village hired a Mexican witch to put a spell on the Chupa, but it didn't work, and a week or so later the witch was found half eaten near some old Indian ruins in the desert. Chupas are bad news. They play with rattlesnakes during the day and drink rancid cactus juice. They have fleas and body lice and mange too.

You bet your sweet keester chupas are real. Last summer one killed three of my prize jackasses before I was able to drive down to Juarez and bring in a Mexican curandera wizard woman to put a demon hex on the thing and scare it off.

I live in South Texas on a 1600 acre jackass ranch. That's a lot of territory to keep tabs on even when you riding hard every day fixing fences and checking all the watering holes and feed bins.

One night me and two of my Mexican ranch hands were working late when we heard the most God-awful animal noises. We loaded up the truck and drove over the hill, and then we saw the thing all covered in jackass blood. It was horrible. The poor jack never had a chance. I got off two shots with my Winchester, but missed. They real alright. The only good thing to come out of all this was that I ended up marrying the Mexican wizard woman. Now I have a good wife and no chupa problems.

In the 1990's there were dozens of stories aired on Mexican TV about chupacabras. It put such a scare into some of the Mexican farmers they went out and entered bat caves looking for chupas and killed thousands of bats which were the main pollinators of the cactus used in making tequila.

In Puerto Rico the U.S. Government has secret labs in places like El Yunque. It is rumored by the locals that one of these labs was doing genetic engineering and cross-breeding involving exotic animals, and late one night during a violent storm some of these test animals escaped. These same labs also were used to test Agent Orange that ended up being used in Vietnam.

I just received several new reliable reports about Chupacabra attacks being on the rise in central Mexico. I will post these as soon as all the pertinent data has been collected and reviewed by our ethnically diverse Chupacabra investigative team.

Meanwhile, please be advised that as of noon today we are under a Chupacabra YELLOW ALERT This means bring all pets inside, lock your doors, and tune your battery-powered Chupa Radio to 66.6 on the dial and wait for further instructions from Chupacabra Central.

And I thought Jackass Acres was in AZ on I-17 between Phoenix and Sedona!

does anyone know the meaning of chupacabras?

I'll bet if a person had access to the Internet they could probably google it in 10 seconds. I'll bet dictionary.com might even be helpful.

I think chupacabra means goatsucker in Spanish, after the nightjars...like whipoorwills, chuck-wills-widow, and Common Nighthawk. There is a long-standing belief that nighthawks will fly down into a herd of goats at night and suck the milk from their udders. This eventually morphed into chupacabra stories. Birds became lizardlike creatures which prefer blood over milk. Chupas are real. Trust me. Photo of a Pauraque.

There you go, Seawitch. You see what can be done with a proper search engine. So go, ye, and do likewise.

Yep, it means goatsucker. I know because I saw a really stupid SciFi movie a couple of days ago that had one loose on a cruise ship. And we all know that movies are reality, Right?

You mean "Chupacabra: Dark Seas" aka "Chupacabra Terror"? Directed by John Shepphird and starring John Rhys Davies, Giancarlo Esposito, Dylan Neal and Mark Viniello as the Chupacabra?

Dr. Pena, the local cryptozoologist captures a killer Chupa and ships it on a cruise ship, and some thugs release it on board, then it's up to a U.S. Marshal and the captain's martial arts daughter to stop the creature, only they end up calling in a Navy Seal Team.

It's ok for a non-serious B sci-fi movie, but in reality, it's impossible to capture a Chupa. It simply cannot be done. They are too wily and clever, not to mention they are fast as lightning. No one has even photographed one, in spite of using all the latest hi-tech infrared wildlife camera gizmos.

Most people tend to dismiss them as legends created by overactive imaginations or ignorant rural people, but they are real. A guy I know who is from Puerto Rico saw one late one night, and he does not drink or do drugs. Some people believe that Chupacabra stories were invented by the U.S. Government Psy-Ops people to stop Puerto Ricans from wandering too close to super-secret military bases located in the PR bush, but the truth is they are real. Trust me.

chupacabra do not exist and its a load of bull, cmon people wake up i mean who is gonna believe the big bad meanie is after you?

It's a sad day in bleak paranoia when people like you refuse to face the truth about these hideous creatures which are indeed as real as they come. Are hundreds, possibly thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of chupacabra sightings just the result of an overactive imagination? Oh, sure it's easy for you living there in the comfort of your warm cozy apartment or condominium, or maybe you live in one of those exclusive gated communities with an armed guard at the gate, and people come tootin' up to the gate in their BMW's and Lexus SUV's. No self-respecting chupa would be caught dead in a place like that.

If you want to see chupacabras, you have to go where they prowl, which is in the remote outback of Mexico, Central and South America and along certain sparsely populated areas of the desert Southwest, and on the islands of Puerto Rico. And it has to be where they have goats, cause goats are their favorite food next to virgins. Be honest here, Seawitch, are there any goats or virgins in your gated condoplex? Ha! I didn't think so.

*tsk*tsk*
you have a vivid imagination....

Well, I used to have one anyway. But that was before I started liking bologna on white bread with a big dollop of mayonnaise spread on thick and heavy. Then slowly, over time, my mind started throttling down and my imagination slipped into low gear without me noticing. Whereas in my pre-bologna sandwich days I was the life of the party and the purveyor of endless wit, now consuming too much bologna makes me sit dumbfounded on the end of the couch and stare straight ahead.

I guess it was all the nitrates and other such unnatural food preservatives that done me in like this. Now all I do is peruse the internet and post in shunned threads like the paranoia files, mostly stuff that nobody much reads. Bologna on white bread made me what I am today, SeaWitch. Don't let it happen to you, my pretty. When I die, they're gonna sing that little Oscar Meyer bologna song at my funeral.

Chupacabras don't like donkeys or jackasses, WindDancer, just goats and young virgins. More Chupa sightings have been reported in Calderon Village Sinaloa in Northern Mexico, as well as in Sonora, Veracruz, and the Southern state of Chiapas. One entire herd of goats was wiped out, leaving a local farmer and his family of 11 totally destitute.

The Rurales (Mexican police) organized a large Chupacabra hunt on horseback with hounds brought in by a bear hunter in Zapata, Texas, but after three days and nights, no Chupacabra was seen. Updates on this situation will be posted here as I receive them from our reporter, Alejandro Delgado via e-mail and fax from Chiapas, Mexico. Alejandro has taken great personal risks to keep us here in paranoia informed about these dangerous creatures. Muchas gracias, Alejandro.

I read somewhere that they have Chupacabra festivals in some of the Mexican villages. People dress up in chupacabra costumes and they have a big goat barbecue. Lots of fun and games for all the kiddies.

chupacabras dont exist! its a load of bull!
ok now where were we?

Young lady, may I remind you that we have a person on the ground in Chiapas, Mexico (Alejandro) who has actually seen a real live chupacabra no less than three times? Are you...are you calling Alejandro a liar? I hope not.

It's plain that you have little or no respect for chupacabra authority. We also have a PhD'd cryptozoologist on call who can verify that chupacabras do indeed exist. His name is Dr. Roberto J. Espinoza, and he will be very upset that you have chosen to make such unpleasant remarks about chupacabras, a subject which he has spent some 15 years studying.

For your information, I once accompanied Dr. Espinoza to a small village in Costa Rica which had been overrun by no less than a dozen chupacabras. Had you been there and witnessed the aftermath, you would not be so quick to cast aspersions on the serious work of chupacabra research. I hope this kind of attitude is not contagious.

I've taken the liberty of posting a photo of a chupacabra plush doll below. These are really popular with all the kiddies in remote isolated areas where chupas exist. Alejandro reports that colorful handmade Mexican versions of chupacabra dolls are very popular around Chiapas and other areas where chupas have been spotted.

I've yet to see a skeptic doll of any description. Alejandro said it best yesterday afternoon over his cell phone when he said to me in a rather emotional tone as I recall..."Chupacabras son reales, mi amigo, no importa lo que algunas gringos mujer dijo."

"chupacabras no existen digan lo que digan esos locos" thats what i sez! what a load of chupacabra bull!

Alejandro no esta' usted loco mar mujer bruja! Ha! Just last month there was a chupacabra festival in a remote village in Mexico, and hundreds showed up. I have video of the occasion if you're interested.

And what about this chupacabra mummy which showed up in a pawn shop in Texas? I suppose you're gonna say the pawn shop owner is loco as well. Nothing ever convinces a skeptic, unless..unless of course they see it first hand and up close in person....which I might be able to arrange if Alejandro can hire those three Mexican chupacabra trappers he told me about last night over the phone.

thats a jazmoora!!
omg what has has happened to him!!

ok now down to more serious matters, chupacabras no existen!

Yes, it does kinda favor poor Jazzy doesn't it? Not exactly green, yet the resemblance is uncanny. Of course I have no knowledge as to how our favorite alien's body ended up in a pawn shop in Texas. I know it has to be hard on all the grieving ex-alien pickle girls, but life goes on, and need I remind you that chupacabras and not mummified aliens are the main topic of this thread.

I just received another chupacabra update from Alejandro. I'll translate and post it here real soon. Good old Alejandro. Hiring him was one of my better decisions.

Let me tell you of the Chupacabra.

In the early to mid years AD in what is now Mexico there was a Mayan city named Chichen Itza. This city's water was mostly underground except for two cenote where the water rose to ground level. These cenote were revered as sacred and the Water God, Chaac, was worshiped at them.

Are you seeing this yet? Maya. Chichen Itza. Chaac. Chupacabra.

The largest cenote was Cenote Sagrado and here many offerings were made to Chaac. These offerings were gold, obsidian, vegetables, fruits, animals and humans. Offerings were increased during times of drought.

It was during these droughts that the water level in the cenotes decreased and the temperature in them increased, all due to lack of fresh water flow. They became stagnant. Stagnant stew pots where the offerings decomposed and recomposed. Little concentrated stew pots of evolution. The Chupacabra evolved from these cenotes and emerged during a year of especially bad drought.

These new creatures looked very much like Chaac and the Mayans took them to be his offspring. They named them Chupacabra.

They believed the Chupacabra would bring the rains so, they let them run free to take what they wanted. Being borne of so much bloodletting, it's no wonder blood is what they wanted. This was fine with the Mayans. They were accustomed to blood sacrifice. Sure enough, shortly after the Chupacabra, the rains came. There was a problem though.

The rains came and the Chupacabra stayed, and kept on taking. This, a good many Mayans did not like. They wanted to give to Chaac, not have him take from them. Those Mayans began to kill the Chupacabra. An equal number of Mayans took great offense to this and feared killing the Chupacabra would anger Chaac and bring back the droughts. Before long, a war erupted. Neither side won. Chichen Itza was laid to waste and nearly deserted.

With it's citizens dead and gone, the city no longer held food for the Chupacabra so, that combined with the prior killing of them, caused their numbers to decline. Some Mayans continued to visit the cenotes and feed the Chupacabra. A medium population managed to survive.

Then, in the 1500s, the Spanish came to the ruins of Chichen Itza. They declared it theirs. Ha! Silly Spaniards. Chichen Itza belonged to the Chupacabra. They drove them out.

Well, we all know that ultimately the Mayans lost and the Spaniards took Mexico. Being as they did not forget their frightful defeat at Chichen Itza and could not well tell their king that strange creatures beat them out of riches, the Spaniards began to tell tales of how evil the Chupacabra were. As more of the populace was converted to Christianity, it became easier to do this. Eventually, most people believed the Chupacabra were devils who would steal livestock for wanton slaughter. With their benefactors gone, this became some what true of the Chupacabra. They had to steal to eat and with their meals being interrupted and being too scared to stay long enough to finish a meal, it does look like wanton slaughter.

Today, there are probably 100,000 Chupacabra left around rural parts of Mexico and south Texas.

Muchas gracias, Senor? Destrogor. It is good to see someone who is so well informed as to the true nature of chupacabras. Usually those who post here only do so to make fun of chupacabras (and me and my friend, Alejandro) and dismiss them as simply the superstititious imaginings of poor uneducated rural farmers and peasants.

You see, such people are completely obsessed with the idiot American politicians and their oil wars and suicide terrorist bombers in some backwoods mideastern hellhole. They do not see the real danger which lurks along the Mexican border because their minds (what's left of it) have been blinded by the ancient Mayan spirit of Chaac.

Their souls now belong to Chaac, but they are totally unaware of their new master's power and purpose. One day 500 years from now when the archaeologists hack the vines and tree trunks from our own lost cities, they will also wonder what happened to us. We leave behind no mysterious message in stone to tell our story, only reality TV programs and huge mountains of retail trash. Why? Because we no longer have possession of our souls. Our souls lie sleeping in the putrid belly of Chaac.



How true. Is it a coincidence that they have chosen to reject evolution in favor of some pieced together version creationism? I think not. The hand of Chaac is at work here creating and recreating and perfecting images and ideas in their minds to conceal the final plan of their own destruction and horror.

And yes, drought is a very mild way of saying global warming. As the planet warms up, chupacabras will become more common. They will be like the coyotes that wander into the edges of great cities late at night to snatch housecats and small poodle dogs let out to pee by their masters.



With each passing of the seasons, the thrist for blood in our own society is becoming more noticible. The moon she hangs tethered above us as if held there by some invisible cord of magic, but again it is the hand of Chaac which controls the moon and the sun. The moon illuminates the chupacabra rituals which happen late at night when little Mexican villages and Texas towns sleep. There are many many cenotes in the desert, and they too are filled with fresh blood and are home to more chupas. They slowly incubate and mutate and then they crawl to the surface looking like some fiendish ghoul fresh from the bowels of hell. They sun themselves and Chaac breathes evil into their ghastly form and sends them off to serve. Chaac thrives when there is war and bloodletting.

The current hunger crisis? There is no shortage of food. Chaac has made them believe there is such a thing. Slowly, over time and many tragedies, blood will replace food. It is the way of Chaac. Is it not written in the stones of the lost cities?

My dear friend and fellow chupa watcher, Alejandro, just called me from Chiapas. There has been another chupacabra sighting. This time a group of seven was spotted lumbering along a deserted farm road earlier tonight. They made strange grunting wheezing sounds and the stench was almost unbearable according to Alejandro who happened to be driving back from a remote village.

They tried to make him run off the road but he is an excellent driver and managed to avoid them and drive on to the city where he called me on his cell phone. I could hear his heart pounding over the phone. Reluctantly, the local Rurales went to check out his story, but, as usual with them, they found nothing.

Like everyone else, I used to think the Mayans sacrificed young female virgins to please Chaac, but now scientists have discovered that it was young boys who were most often thrown into the cenotes, and sometimes they were skinned and dismembered while others were thrown in alive and then fished out again in a few days to see if they had seen or talked to Chaac. Imagine the horror of such an experience. Almost as bad as being forced to watch an episode of "Lost" or "Survivors". Mayan kids didn't have it so bad after all. So a few of the more handsome unlucky ones got picked for the cenotes. It pays to have ugly kids both then and now. The cenotes are full of cheerleader and jock types.

Noone has mentioned the corn connection. Ethanol is made from corn, right? Yum K'aax, the Mayan god of corn fits in here nicely. Plagued by insects, birds, and rats, the corn god's survival depends on Chaac. I've seen reports coming out of Mexico which tell of Mayan Cha-Chaac ceremonies being performed. Young boys dressed up in frog suits croaking loudly and hopping around the village til the wee hours of the morning.

Interestingly enough, Chaac is usually depicted with scales and a human body with a human head which has fangs and a long nose. We should expect the emergence of a powerful leader in Mexico soon, one with bad teeth and a very long nose--just like Chaac. All the important Yucatan mediums and witches have begun predicting this for months now. They also predict the man will commit adultery with his brother's wife just like Chaac did. This is a sign the end is near and more cenotes will open up like giant wombs in the earth, pushing out hundreds and thousands more young virile chupacabras. I could not sleep last night thinking about all this.

If anyone has photographs of a real Chupacabra, please feel free to post it here. Please do not post Chupacabra drawings or illustrations. Also post the location where the photo was taken if you know. If you have had a personal encounter with a Chupa (or chupas), you may want to tell someone about it, someone who will listen and take your story serious...well, maybe. Depends.

Alejandro just called me on his cell phone from somewhere in Mexico. He sounded somehwat disoriented (and maybe a little intoxicated)and I could barely make out that he was in some remote area checking out another chupacabra report. As soon as I hear from him again, I'll post what he discovered. He says to tell you (Seawitch) that he understands why you don't believe in chupas, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.

Chupacabras only exist in the minds of those who are so blown out of their minds from smoking the weed..
its a vile world out there with the weed...
so tell Alejandro to beware of those fields where a certain weed gorws and by simply wlking through them can reach the nostrils and places in the brain no other man can reach...
beware of the WEED!! i tell you BEWARE!!

Seawitch, I can tell that you are heavily influenced by the evil mass media where you live. Not everyone is a pot smoking fiend like you have been led to believe by those rightwing radio talk show hosts and the people on Fox network. Only a handful of people in Northern California and a few old hippie chicken farmer guitar players in Jasper, Arkansas smoke pot. The rest of America is pretty much pot free these days.

Obviously you are in denial about chupacabras. I take that to mean you have had an encounter with a chupa or chupas at some time during the past, probably when you were younger and more aware of your surroundings. If you'd like I can hypnotize you online and bring out all those repressed memories of your chupa nightmare, but I warn you it will not be pretty, and well, there's the privacy thing to consider. Maybe you could PM me and I could hypnotize you with a series of hypno-PM's. It's the latest in online psycho-therapy.

wakeholden ...

the weed is evil and your explanations sound silly, remember my advice!
the weed is evil!

Seawitch, you'll be excited to hear that Alejandro, our man in Mexico, recently took part in the capture of a live chupacabra in rural Chiapas, Mexico. He has already interviewed the thing for the Mexican TV Network, and is currently teaching it English so that it can use a computer.

Who knows, maybe it will eventually learn to sign in and join Fool Moon. I suppose even that would not convince someone as skeptical as you. We'll see. No doubt these persnickity FM admins. and moderators will ally themselves with the PAPP bullies and make all kinds of anti-chupacabra rules just like they tried to do with aliens.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gila_monster

This is my theory: The Bush cronies want to punish Mexico for sending in immigrants and for wanting free trade. So they inject gila monsters with rabies. And they say "You want trade? We'll show you trade. You send us immigrants, we'll send you chupacabras."

On second thought, can reptiles get rabies?

You raise some intriguining questions.

I suggest that an investigation be mounted!

If only it were that simole, Anon., but unfortynately it isn't. You see Chupacabras are much largwr and like a millipn times smarter. And not only that, they have the abiluty to mentaliy penetrpte the human brain barriwr. Notice that for the firdt time in the history of my somewhut expensive Fool Moon expwrience I have suddenly begun to mispell words, something I almost never did before. Just ask Helease or scg or Dacks...The readon...I mean, reason? Akute Chupacabra-induced brian malfunktion, the result of coming in close contapt with a live captured chupacabra while visitung Alejandzo last week in Chaipas, Megziko.

Alejanpro is currently experiensink the same phenomenun, only of cuorse his linquistick disordar is in Spamish. As to whethur this is causssssssud by a direkt invention of the Megzuken guvermint or the current internashinull cross-borter meddlingz of the Cheenie-Bosch-Rize adminnerstraytion, I have no idea.

I will say that there does nut seam to be any obvius correction to any type of known reptilian lifge form such as hte common Geeler munster you mentioned in your previrus puss...post. Rihgt now I am in the wailing rume of the Chiapas, Megzeeko walk in medickul clinick, and they just kalled my name to be scammed in the chupaskooner to determun if I have major or miner brain dumbage...damage..... Later.

Awwwwww Wakey... all ya need is a coupla Mexican beers, and that'll straighten out your dysfunction... TRUST me I know deez tinks.

Hello, WindDancer. Did you get that cute little Chupacabra doll I sent you UPS yet? Alejandro says they're selling like tacos down in Mexico. Do you have any goats at your place? Real chupas like goats...and virgins. Virgins can lead them around like sheep. Most professional Chupacabra hunters employ at least one virgin.

How thoughtful of you, Hun. I haven't seen any UPS guys lately, but of course, besides you, no one's sent me anything recently.

I don't have any goats, but I do have quite the menagerie... two groundhogs, a shitload of bunnies (gotta be one or two virgins in that bunch), six whitetail deer, two cardinals, a garter snake, one wild black turkey, and two bluejays.

Are you a Chupacabra hunter? Is that dangerous to your health?

Alejandro and I have just come from the CoEA Tranquility Light Center where we have been renewing and re-energizing our respective chakras. Now we are both in tip top shape to continue our initial quest for the elusive Southwestern Chupacabras which have been wreaking havoc on both sides of the border down Mexico way.

We have also been on the phone with the Department of Homeland Security and the U.S. Wildlife Dept. requesting permission to install special chupacabra traps along the U.S. side of the proposed anti-illegal immigrant fence, as our studies indicate that the fence's design does not take into account the superior climbing and jumping abilities of the average chupacabra. The fence may keep out illegal aliens, but it will not impede the movements of chupacabras.

We have also purchased special infrared night vision goggles as well as infrared cameras, and we will be phtographing chupas with this equipment and we will be posting those images right here in the FoolMoon Paranoia Files. Science is a wonderful thing, and I can only say that both Alejandro and I are more than pleased to be involved in this field study and research project which btw is being funded in part by The Laufenberg Foundation which as you know has long been affiliated with FoolMoon Paranoid Paranormal Assumption Research Center.

Yes, chupacabras are indeed dangerous creatures. I on the other hand can be trusted.

When I was a kid living in Mexico the chupacabras they come to my village late one night and steal all the donkeys. Nobody can go nowhere til we sell enough beans to buy new donkeys. Then some gringos come and hunt for the chupacabras, but they don't find any. They drink up all the tequila and talk ugly around women. They leave and we not bothered with chupas no more.

Mmm, Mmm, Chupacabras that is some mighty fine eatin! Yummy, yummy, yum, yum!

Once again I must apologize to the readers and posters about this DeeLush troll simulation program. Our techies are working night and day trying to delete her...I mean it. There is nothing wrong with your computer or this website. Bertha DeeLush is not a human being. The topic of this discussion is chupacabras which inhabit Mexico and the Southwestern United States. Thank you.

Wait just a cotton pickin minute! I really don't know who you think you are, but you are really getting on my nerves. Is it a problem if I like eating Chupacabras? Well? Hmmm? Now, buzz off, WhackoHead!

Emilio, one of our tech guys, just informed me that using extra smiley faces with your posts sometimes disables the Bertha DeeLush troll simulation program. Anything is worth trying I suppose.

Why haven't we heard from your man in Mexico lately, Wakeholden? What was his name..Alejandro? I was thinking about taking a short vacation to Mexico this summer, but not if chupacabras are running loose everywhere. Can't the Mexican tourist board do something about this? Are the Mexican Socialists behind this or what?

In fact, SoccerMom, just yesterday I had a long phone conversation with Alejandro who called on his cell phone from Chiapas, Mexico. He was released today from the hospital there where he was being treated for a severe infection caused by being bitten on the buttocks by a venomous chupacabra which had been temporarily captured by his crew of professional chupacabra horsemen.

Unfortunately the creature managed to escape but not before sinking it's long teeth into Alejandro's body. The entire episode was filmed by Alejandro and as soon as I get permission from the admin. here at FoolMoon, I will post the video for all to see..that is of course if such permission is granted, which may indeed not be the case. As of noon today, Alejandro himself still does not have permission to post his chupacabra movement reports here, which is why I have been doing it for him. I strongly suspect someone in the Mexican government is pressuring someone here for reasons which I am not privvy to at this point in time.

I do believe that the Mexican government is using the Chupacabras. They allow them to roam about and take what they like.

This, of course, scares Mexicans and causes them to flee to Estados Unidos. They would rather risk la Migra than the chupa. For now, this is fine with the Mexican government. Actually, it's what they want. They need for there to be less people in Mexico. Less people are easier to control.

Once the Mexican government gets it population to a manageable level, they will stop the exodus. They will use chupas to do it.

After they have control of their populace and seal their borders, they will use what Mexicans they have as slaves to tend the chupas. Chupas who will be taught the pleasures of the flesh. Human flesh.

With chupas not so much trained but, bred, to kill humans, the reconquest will be on in full swing. Millions of chupas streaming across the border to feast upon soccer moms and drunks too feeble to repel the attacks.

You have been prepped.

As the licensed medical (and psychological) represenative of the Paranoia Files, it is my duty and professional responsibility to inform all those who participate in this forum that the consumption of human flesh for pleasure and or nutrition purposes is strictly forbidden under the very strict rules of Paranoid delusional etiquette, manners, propriety, decorum, hygiene, etc.

It simply is not socially aceptable behavior to consume other human beings when there are plenty of other more appropriate foods available, nor is it polite. As for any alien chupacabras who might be tempted to engage in such behavior, I remind them that this paranoid nation (the U.S.A.) has a very elite unit of anti-chupacabra commandos who are specially trained to deal with this very situation should it occur.

Any attempts by chupas or other such entities to consume large numbers of innocent humans will be dealt with swiftly and forcefully. I am Edith Smartbottom R.N. and I have the authority to quarantine anyone or anything who/which violates this and all other public health guidelines. Thank you.

And I tell them truthfully that the World HQ has a very elite unit of chupacabra handlers who are specially trained to implement this very plan of action when the order is given.

The fence being built along the border with Mexico? It's not to keep out illegal aliens. It's to stop the flow of chupacabras into the U.S.

Just recived an updated and very thorough Chupacabra report from Alejandro in Chiapas, Mexico. Will post as soon as it's translated into English, which of course is the official language of the United States of America and it's territories, possessions, states, archipeligoes, estuaries, ports, and penninsulas.

Hello, Anonymous. As a general rule, chupacabras do not attack or molest anonymous people. In fact, it's been well-documented by several chupacabra scholars that a chupa will only attack someone whose name it knows for absolute certain.

It hangs around campfires and lurks in the shadows of buildings and trees until it has memorized the names of all it's potential victims, then it makes goes into the assault mode. That's one reason they prefer virgins over non-virgins. Virgins are always bragging about their virginity, but not non-virgins usually.

Hey Mister Holden... tune in tomorrow to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" One of their Q's will be about the chupa.

Thank you, Mr. Wind Dancer for your interest in Chupacabras. While we here at the NWO Unknown Aggressive Creature Watch do not normally waste our valuable time viewing stupid games shows on TV, we will make an exception this one time in order to ascertain if erroneous or suspicious sounding information is being desiminated to the general public via this type of anarchist-controlled media outlet.

Meanwhile, please remain indoors, wear your Snuggie, do not consume all natural cheddar cheese or Coke, and lock all windows and doors until the Homeland Security all clear "la chupacabra" warning signal is sounded in both English and Spanish. Thanks again.