Are you being watched in the privacy of your own home by nefarious agents of the shadow government? Is your mind being "talked to" by a voice or voices inside your head, or do the voices come from the radio, your computer, or the TV which is playing right now in the privacy of your living room? Do you hear the voices even when the TV, computer, or radio is not on?

Is the world around you a mostly hostile place, one which is full of people and or groups of people who are out to get you? Are you continuously being harassed by some rogue group of shadowy individuals whose main purpose is to discredit you by making your story public, perhaps by changing the facts around and then leaking their despicable lies about you to the media?

Perhaps you are descended from royalty, and your ancestors were once the kings or queens of some ancient kingdom, and now you are being watched by descendants of the evil ones who dethroned them and usurped their thrones. Obviously, they are here to make sure you do not take the necessary steps to regain the crown which is rightfully yours.

Are you constantly on the run, sleeping in cheap motels under an assumed name or moving from town to town to avoid detection by the evil ones who have every intention of harming you or shaming you in front of the world? Have you been wondering why noone else seems to be even remotely aware of the hundreds of encrypted messages which appear on the labels of commonly used products found on the shelves of most supermarkets? These messages are there for a reason, and like lot numbers, they change from week to week and store to store. Those people you see standing in the aisle reading product labels? They are gathering the latest information on your whereabouts and what you are planning next.

Not to worry. You are not alone. This thread was put here specifically for your benefit because, in spite of what you think, there are people out there and in here who care what happens to you and want your story to be told. This is the one chance you've been waiting for to get the real truth out there.

Yeah right, you are probably saying to yourself about now, I'm gonna spill my guts on a thread about UFO's and aliens and other wacko paranoid discussions. Maybe those things are here for a reason. Maybe the people who are out to get you never come here because they think it's all paranoid alien bullshit. This is just a guess on my part, but I'd be willing to bet that thousands of people just like you come here every day hoping to find a thread like this. Well, it's finally here, and it's all yours. Trust me.

My kids are after my money. Is that a conspiracy? They tried to put me in one of those stupid retirement homes, but my lawyer wouldn't let'em. I like living out here on Route 66 in my own house. Thing is, all my girlfriends in town up and died on me. Every last one croaked without so much as a goodbye, kiss my [censored], or anything. That may be a conspiracy as well. I've been chatting online with some real hotties. I have a conspiracy in mind for them....it's called getting them in the sack!!!

I've got your number, WakeHolden. You're in league with that despicable Jazmoora character to destroy the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection. Just the title of this thread gives the plot away: "Post your own conspiracy theory here"

Theory? THEORY? Precisely! You demean the very essence of our crucial endeavors with the word "theory" which somehow diminishes the importance of the serious work we do at P.A.P.P exposing conspiracies. Not conspiracy theories, but out and out conspiracies! Like THIS one!

Don't think you got away with this, WakeHolden. You weren't even close. And to everyone else...

Be careful. Be very careful. Trust no one.

I remain the one, the only,
Ray

So it WAS you who's been calling me at all hours of the night and day, pretending you worked for some time share condo company in Branson, Missouri, and all I had to do was show up at the Marriott and listen to your four hour sales pitch in order to get my name in the pot to win that new Chevy Trailblazer SUV. My number will be changed as of 4 PM today, so don't try and call me again. Oh, and I've already notified the bank and stopped payment on the check I wrote to you people.



That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. Why, I barely know what this so-called "Alliance" is anyway, and as for me being in league with some rakish alien scoundrel, well that's even more unbelievable. While it may be true that I occasionally stop by it's lair to engage in a few benign games of Rook with one or two of it's more curvaceous female assistants, I am otherwise blameless, and am more than a little upset that you or anyone would impugn my integrity and blatantly besmirch my otherwise spotless reputation.



Whatever do you mean, sir? I assure you that my motives for posting this thread are beyond reproach. This is highly irregular to say the least, and that is exactly what I intend to do about it...say the least.



I've never been accused of demeaning someone's essence before, but I have been known to subvert seduce violate and sometimes despoil when the opportunity presents itself, but I draw the line when it comes to monkeying around with essential essence.



From what I have observed thus far, the alien Jazmoora seems to be the only real authority here in the paranoia files, and with that being the case, I probably will get away with it, not because I am in league with it, but rather because I am in almost daily close contact (very close) with several of it's uninhibited underlings. PAPP might have had some influence in here in the past, but that was then and this is now. Got poontang? The alien's helpers do.

T.J. Wakeholden in league with an alien? Are you sure about that, Ray? This sounds serious. I find it hard to believe that our own Wakeholden would ally himself with such a disgusting and obnoxious other-worldly creature. Suddenly I am feeling faint. All this is beginning to take it's toll on my fragile health.

You see I've been out of the country recuperating from a somewhat lengthy illness, and now to learn that my old friend, Wake has gone over to the alien side. There has to be some sort of explanation for this. I hope you'll keep the rest of us informed of this horrific development.

If Barak Obama is elected president, Oprah Winfrey has plans already in place to become his Secretary of State. She'll give up her daytime TV spot and accept the post. She'll donate her government salary to an unmarried teenage girls facility in her home state of Mississippi. Oprah will then travel to the middle east on a peacekeeping mission where an unsuccessful attempt to kidnap her will be uncovered and the radical Muslim perps killed in a fierce hour long gun battle.

Eventually it will be determined that the entire episode was in fact a staged event designed to gain sympathy for the Obama administration which has been embroiled in a sex scandal involving prostitutes who were paid for out of campaign funds by two Obama campaign workers who were pretending to be former Hillary Clinton campaign workers but who were actually Republican double agents whose original mission was to infiltrate and sabotage both the Obama and the Clinton campaigns.

People are being eliminated one at a time. It's happening in stages. The last stage is when a black x enclosed in red brackets suddenly appears in front of your name...on the internet, on your bank statement, phone bill, driver's license, insurance card...... everything has a red-bracketed x in front of it. It happened to WakeHolden, and now it's happening to me right now here at Fool Moon, and there's nothing I can do about it except warn others. The end is near. Marina, I'm sorry for what happened that day at sea. I warned you not to stand too close to the edge.

Let me bring you up to speed WakeHolden. To achieve a particular aim we must unite together if we're to take over paranoia and the rest of the world.



If your able to board his ship to socialize with the females then you know Jazzy. After I receive conformation from my leader I'll prepare the paper work for your physical. Don't worry I'll hold your hand while your being probed. Believe me it doesn't hurt much.




Finally someone who believes that Jazzy is real and that he is in charge of Paranoia.

What if it were true ExSoccerMom would you treat WakeHolden differently because he wants to join our community? How do you know for a fact that Jazzy is all those things you mentioned? I have a feeling that you are jealous,am I correct in assuming this?

I am being stalked by a certain FM moderator and I like it. Keep those checks rolling in, sweetie.