Are you being watched in the privacy of your own home by nefarious agents of the shadow government? Is your mind being "talked to" by a voice or voices inside your head, or do the voices come from the radio, your computer, or the TV which is playing right now in the privacy of your living room? Do you hear the voices even when the TV, computer, or radio is not on?

Is the world around you a mostly hostile place, one which is full of people and or groups of people who are out to get you? Are you continuously being harassed by some rogue group of shadowy individuals whose main purpose is to discredit you by making your story public, perhaps by changing the facts around and then leaking their despicable lies about you to the media?

Perhaps you are descended from royalty, and your ancestors were once the kings or queens of some ancient kingdom, and now you are being watched by descendants of the evil ones who dethroned them and usurped their thrones. Obviously, they are here to make sure you do not take the necessary steps to regain the crown which is rightfully yours.

Are you constantly on the run, sleeping in cheap motels under an assumed name or moving from town to town to avoid detection by the evil ones who have every intention of harming you or shaming you in front of the world? Have you been wondering why noone else seems to be even remotely aware of the hundreds of encrypted messages which appear on the labels of commonly used products found on the shelves of most supermarkets? These messages are there for a reason, and like lot numbers, they change from week to week and store to store. Those people you see standing in the aisle reading product labels? They are gathering the latest information on your whereabouts and what you are planning next.

Not to worry. You are not alone. This thread was put here specifically for your benefit because, in spite of what you think, there are people out there and in here who care what happens to you and want your story to be told. This is the one chance you've been waiting for to get the real truth out there.

Yeah right, you are probably saying to yourself about now, I'm gonna spill my guts on a thread about UFO's and aliens and other wacko paranoid discussions. Maybe those things are here for a reason. Maybe the people who are out to get you never come here because they think it's all paranoid alien bullshit. This is just a guess on my part, but I'd be willing to bet that thousands of people just like you come here every day hoping to find a thread like this. Well, it's finally here, and it's all yours. Trust me.

My kids are after my money. Is that a conspiracy? They tried to put me in one of those stupid retirement homes, but my lawyer wouldn't let'em. I like living out here on Route 66 in my own house. Thing is, all my girlfriends in town up and died on me. Every last one croaked without so much as a goodbye, kiss my [censored], or anything. That may be a conspiracy as well. I've been chatting online with some real hotties. I have a conspiracy in mind for them....it's called getting them in the sack!!!

I've got your number, WakeHolden. You're in league with that despicable Jazmoora character to destroy the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection. Just the title of this thread gives the plot away: "Post your own conspiracy theory here"

Theory? THEORY? Precisely! You demean the very essence of our crucial endeavors with the word "theory" which somehow diminishes the importance of the serious work we do at P.A.P.P exposing conspiracies. Not conspiracy theories, but out and out conspiracies! Like THIS one!

Don't think you got away with this, WakeHolden. You weren't even close. And to everyone else...

Be careful. Be very careful. Trust no one.

I remain the one, the only,
Ray

So it WAS you who's been calling me at all hours of the night and day, pretending you worked for some time share condo company in Branson, Missouri, and all I had to do was show up at the Marriott and listen to your four hour sales pitch in order to get my name in the pot to win that new Chevy Trailblazer SUV. My number will be changed as of 4 PM today, so don't try and call me again. Oh, and I've already notified the bank and stopped payment on the check I wrote to you people.



That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. Why, I barely know what this so-called "Alliance" is anyway, and as for me being in league with some rakish alien scoundrel, well that's even more unbelievable. While it may be true that I occasionally stop by it's lair to engage in a few benign games of Rook with one or two of it's more curvaceous female assistants, I am otherwise blameless, and am more than a little upset that you or anyone would impugn my integrity and blatantly besmirch my otherwise spotless reputation.



Whatever do you mean, sir? I assure you that my motives for posting this thread are beyond reproach. This is highly irregular to say the least, and that is exactly what I intend to do about it...say the least.



I've never been accused of demeaning someone's essence before, but I have been known to subvert seduce violate and sometimes despoil when the opportunity presents itself, but I draw the line when it comes to monkeying around with essential essence.



From what I have observed thus far, the alien Jazmoora seems to be the only real authority here in the paranoia files, and with that being the case, I probably will get away with it, not because I am in league with it, but rather because I am in almost daily close contact (very close) with several of it's uninhibited underlings. PAPP might have had some influence in here in the past, but that was then and this is now. Got poontang? The alien's helpers do.

T.J. Wakeholden in league with an alien? Are you sure about that, Ray? This sounds serious. I find it hard to believe that our own Wakeholden would ally himself with such a disgusting and obnoxious other-worldly creature. Suddenly I am feeling faint. All this is beginning to take it's toll on my fragile health.

You see I've been out of the country recuperating from a somewhat lengthy illness, and now to learn that my old friend, Wake has gone over to the alien side. There has to be some sort of explanation for this. I hope you'll keep the rest of us informed of this horrific development.

If Barak Obama is elected president, Oprah Winfrey has plans already in place to become his Secretary of State. She'll give up her daytime TV spot and accept the post. She'll donate her government salary to an unmarried teenage girls facility in her home state of Mississippi. Oprah will then travel to the middle east on a peacekeeping mission where an unsuccessful attempt to kidnap her will be uncovered and the radical Muslim perps killed in a fierce hour long gun battle.

Eventually it will be determined that the entire episode was in fact a staged event designed to gain sympathy for the Obama administration which has been embroiled in a sex scandal involving prostitutes who were paid for out of campaign funds by two Obama campaign workers who were pretending to be former Hillary Clinton campaign workers but who were actually Republican double agents whose original mission was to infiltrate and sabotage both the Obama and the Clinton campaigns.

People are being eliminated one at a time. It's happening in stages. The last stage is when a black x enclosed in red brackets suddenly appears in front of your name...on the internet, on your bank statement, phone bill, driver's license, insurance card...... everything has a red-bracketed x in front of it. It happened to WakeHolden, and now it's happening to me right now here at Fool Moon, and there's nothing I can do about it except warn others. The end is near. Marina, I'm sorry for what happened that day at sea. I warned you not to stand too close to the edge.

Let me bring you up to speed WakeHolden. To achieve a particular aim we must unite together if we're to take over paranoia and the rest of the world.



If your able to board his ship to socialize with the females then you know Jazzy. After I receive conformation from my leader I'll prepare the paper work for your physical. Don't worry I'll hold your hand while your being probed. Believe me it doesn't hurt much.




Finally someone who believes that Jazzy is real and that he is in charge of Paranoia.

What if it were true ExSoccerMom would you treat WakeHolden differently because he wants to join our community? How do you know for a fact that Jazzy is all those things you mentioned? I have a feeling that you are jealous,am I correct in assuming this?

I am being stalked by a certain FM moderator and I like it. Keep those checks rolling in, sweetie.

You know I donated so much this month to your worthy cause. How much more do you want? lol

You have finally recollected the name of you beloved wife. Melina, Melina.... Of course, her name was Marina.

I think there is a highly secret mission to train a team of rescue-dolphims to trail Gorman's boat whenever he goes out to sea, to save any wives who "accidently" fall overboard.

It was a simple typo, Elina. Nobody knows how much I miss my dear sweet late wife, Merina, the wonderful artist from the Ukraine who died in the unfortunate accident at sea. Last night I was looking at photos of other nice Ukranian women who posted their personal ads on the internet.

I am seriously considering e-mailing one of these women and see if she might be interested in a relationship with me. I hope she does not know about Fool Moon because if she came here she might see some of the awful things mean people like Helice have posted about me.

No, I will not reveal the name of my new internet friend. It's not that I don't trust you, Elena, it's some of the others who are out to wreck my chances with this new woman. Maybe I will go to the Ukraine on holiday, and we will get married there. You will be invited to the wedding. I will PM you when we set the date. She looks and sounds like a very nice girl, and so young and full of life.

Melina, Marina, Merina.... The next name will be Murena
The name of Slavic girl can't be Merina, because "merin" means "a gelding" in most Slavic languages.

What about Merina Prusakova from Molotovsk, wife of the assassin, Lee Harvey Oswald. Was she named after a horse? And what about Marina Lewycka who wrote "A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian" the story of the two immigrant Majevskyj sisters who came to England with their 84 year old Pappa, Nikolai, the tractor man, who fell in love with a young Ukrainian woman?

The Merinas are a tribe in Madagascar. The name means "those from the highlands." What if Edgar's wife was also an immigrant...from Madagascar? The first emporer of Madagascar was the slovakian born Moric Benovsky, and wasn't his wife also named Merina?

Some Russian women think they know everything. If you look on youtube, you will see dozens of beautiful Ukrainian women named Merina. Just do a search there using 'Marina Ukraine looking for love' and suddenly you see lots and lots of very nice Merinas, and none of them look or sound like dumb gelding horse farmer lady.

Her name was Marina.It is a rather popular name.



I'm sorry, but humans would associate anything with familiar roots.



As I know his wife's name was Suzanne. Maybe he had another wife of Merin tribe?

Shame on them!!!



I haven't seen any Merinas there, but several horse-like Marinas.

I read the newspaper account of Edgar's wife's unfortunate accident while they were at sea, and I believe it was spelled M-a-r-i-n-a. There were no witnesses, although Edgar was questioned extensively by the Coast Guard and eventually the FBI, but no charges were filed. There was a rather large life insurance policy taken out on her a few months before her demise.

Ah, well, I'm sure poor Edgar has experienced enough grief without me bringing it up here on this thread. Yes, Marina was an artist, and from what I hear, she was a good one. I hope Edgar finds another lovely Ukrainian wife. He seems very fond of them for some reason, and who can blame him? Deep down I think Edgar is a very sincere person. It's not his fault that his wife drank too much and fell overboard is it? It's not for me to judge.

I heard absolutely different story. She couldn’t live without Internet, especially FM site. Edgar strictly forbade it. He even organized that trip in order to prevent her visiting Net. But Marina was a very intelligent woman and she found possibility to connect FM even when they were very far from the shore. In despair Edgar threw her laptop out into the sea. Marina couldn’t stand it and followed the computer. Trained dolphins weren’t quick enough…. Oceanologists said that their devices registered something like a mermaid, trying to connect the Internet. Maybe it was Marina, who knows…

You seem to know quite a lot about poor Marina's accidental drowning....details and certain things only the police or an accomplice would know. Be honest now. You aren't really in Moscow are you? You are up in Maine with Edgar Gene Gormann aren't you, Elena? I'll bet you aren't Russian either. How much life insurance did you and Edgar end up getting? (shakes head)

WakeHolden, how could you think such things about me?
You asked:


This voice told me everything about Edgar, Marina and many other people. He (voice) is so talkative and funny.

I have my own conspiracy theory and it is totally different than any of you have ever thought of.

I believe that we are the decedents of group of spiritual entities who have been exiled from a highly developed spiritual civilization that spans the the known universe.

Our Ancestors were banned due to their heterogeneous nature of good and evil that could not be separated. Rather then to allow a few flawed spirits to infect and reek havoc these Spirits were exiled to the physical plane and set down upon a planet far from any other inhabited planets on this physical plane.

These entities minds were wiped clean of all knowledge of their past existence and happily lived out their physical lives multiplying and prospering under the watchful eyes of their spiritual brethren who had placed an overseer to keep tabs on their defective kindred.

I beleive Wake Holden to be that Overseer.

And I shall continue doing my best in spite of all the constant criticism and complaints I get from those who wish to interfere with my important work. My mission is too important to be slowed down or stopped by their meddling. Don't think I'm not aware of the identity of those whose agenda includes placing stumbling blocks in my path. The anonymous e-mails and insult-filled PM's cannot and will not deter me from overseeing that which needs overseen. The spiritual realm is filled with nefarious spirits which mean to harm those who stand up for spiritual freedom. There are others who oversee as well, and there are even those such as myself who oversee the overseers. All is being overseen and chronicled according to the laws of overseedom.

I'd just like to say there is an ongoing conspiracy being perpetrated at this very moment by certain elitist-minded individuals in the PAPP organization to take complete credit for eradicating the aliens from Paranoia Files and the rest of the planet. This outrageous glory grab will not go unchallenged.

I call on all civic-minded patriotic people to join me in my quest for fairness...Oh, and Elena....sweetheart...you remember that rather large refrigerated shipment I had electronically diverted from Temecula, California to Moscow right before Christmas? Yes, that one.

I hope you have been checking on it like I instructed. It contains several very valuable alien life form specimens which we will be putting to good use there in Russia as well as all the surrounding breakaway countries.

And remember, Elena, darling, it's not, I repeat NOT the unit which contains the bodies of Edgar Gene Gormann's four ex-wives. Cryo-unit number *** ***** **** is the one I want you to inspect, but please remember to wear your silver foil hat AND your attractive silver foil panties which will protect you from possible contamination from alien microbes. Until I hear from you again....sincerely, Grady Jazmoora.

Well, Ms Elena, it looks as if your alien friends have been terminated. I suspected all along you Russian women had befriended these creatures and were responsible for a lot of the problems which have plagued the Paranoia Files for almost 5 years now. Russian women and Ukrainian women simply cannot be trusted.

I suppose now you're gonna tell us that you know nothing about these cold-blooded Reptilians which have weaseled their way into the P-files. Of course, I know very little as to where these entities came from or why they have chosen FM as their new home. First the aliens, and now this.

Certain recently declassified information has come into my possession which indicates that the Russian KGB invested heavily in genetic research during the 1980's in an attempt to develop non-human life forms which might be used on the battlefield. The code name for the operation was "Chupestroika".

As part of a secret agreement between the Russians and members of a Mexican drug cartel headed by a man named Carlos Ramirez. These life forms were allegedly released from a Soviet submarine off the coast of Mexico to see how they would adapt to the living conditions of the Southwest.

In 1987 Mexican farmers killed one of the creatures and after skinning it, they discovered a tiny tracking device implanted in its head. The device was sold to an Cuban Agent who returned to Cuba with the device sewn into the lapel of his jacket. Once he arrived in Cuba, he met with a female Russian diplomatic undersecretary named Elena. A copy of the full report may be seen by PM'ing me and using the codeword *arbacapuhc*.

The Russians and Chinese are plotting together to ruin the U.S. economy and take over most of the oil in the middle east. They have been secretly negotiating huge oil contracts with countries like Iran and Saudi Arabia, contracts that reach 20 years into the future. Russian and Chinese spies are secretly meeting in Bejing and Moscow where they have built hardened concrete bunkers to set up spy centers. They are using the Olympics as an excuse to fly in more spies disguised as athletes. That's why President Bush is there..to infiltrate this nest of vipers and save the world from Russo-Chinese domination.

They are also putting killer spy satellites into orbit, and many of these are equipped with powerful laser cannons which can melt our satellites and shoot down our aircraft. They also have submarines at sea which are making practice runs near our subs and playing "sink the Americans" war games.

A lot of the Chinese made items being sold in big retails stores like Walmart and Target have tiny tracking devices embedded inside that resemble black marbles. These are listening devices as well. The Chinese and Russians can hear everything you say in the privacy of your home, especially if you live near a military base or are in the military.

Reality shows on TV are also being used to dumb down Americans. All these type programs are part of the Putin-KGB-Chinese spy network. They even have agents joining discussion websites and using them to send encrypted messages back and forth to one another. They also have dumped thousands of trained Chinese and Russian swimming feral cats on our shores from submarines offshore. These hybrid cats have been trained to infiltrate super secret military installations and take photos and make videos. Their eyes have been surgically removed and replaced with mini-eye cams. Do not approach these cats. They have been trained to attack and kill Americans.

I have suspected all along this whole Russia thing was a plot to fool us here in the west, and I guess Putins actions in Georgia prove I was right. Who is next on their list to attack? The Russians and the Chinese cannot be trusted. They are our enemies. I also have been very suspicious of all cats, and again it looks like I am right about that too. My cat probably didn't run away like I thought. He probably got all the information he needed and then moved in with his Russian or Chinese master.

The Russians and the Chinese are probably behind this gasoline price thing. This is how they plan to destroy the American economy, and I'm almost positive they are responsible for putting all these idiot CEO's in charge of American corporations so they wil fail as well. Rermember the "Manchurian Candidate"? It's happening only there are thousands being brainwashed and sent here to destroy us. Wake up people. We are at war only nobody seems to know it yet.